What’s in a name?

Apr 29
NabanitaDhar

Have you ever wondered why in most of the applications you fill, you are never asked for your mother’s name? Or if you are asked it is always after that of your father’s? Has it ever occurred to you why is it that children all around the world use their father’s surname? Have you? Well if you have not then do give it a thought!
It’s a mother who carries a child within her for nine months before bringing him or her to this beautiful world of ours. She is the one who invests a lot throughout her life to give her baby a wonderful and happy existence. When I say this I do not in any way mean that a father’s role is not vital. What I feel is if bearing the father’s name and mentioning it in every application is warranted then why not state the mother’s name too. She has played a role which is if not more than atleast equal in importance to that of the father. 
For more here’s the link http://myrootsmywings.blogspot.in/2012/04/guestspeak-whats-in-name.html

28 thoughts on “What’s in a name?”

  1. It is simple. It is a Man's world.All the Gods are male. all religions are started by Males and also all Isms etc.It is only very few like Aishwarya Rai Bachan who even give respect to the family name.

  2. It's still a man's world, and we're still tied to tradition. In this case, it's probably better to keep a last name that's not tied to either parent, like in the Western cultures.

  3. This post actually revealed the fact out of myth…….and I really feel for it and thus a mother only can understand and with held those feelings'……………

  7. Dear Nabanita

    Thanks for acknowledging my blog. The topic you have written on is very relevant and note worthy. I share my point of view with you on this issue with you. But being a male does not make me any less human. The way I feel about my mom can be interpolated based on the blog by the name "My mom ….always the best and it link as follows:

    http://jskolur.blogspot.in/2011/10/my-mom-always-best.html

  9. Nabanita Ma'am, you are one of those writers who are blessed with striking inking power. I have read most of your blogs, though I joined your site recently. Thanks for pouring down your thoughts through your pen. Such transparent thoughts have the capability to purge the impurities of our society.

    For Mom, I will say only thing – A Mom can become Dad, bro, sis, friend and best-friend also, but nobody can take the place of Mom.

  10. Thank You so much Sneha :)…!! Feel really obliged to read your words…and you are right a mother can take up any role and be the best at it…but no one can take the place of a mother ever!!

  11. it's something that bugs me to no end. not just the mother-crisis, but also that you're to identify yourself as a daughter of a father (not mother) or as a wife or a man. as if we dont have an identity of our own!

  19. i think i am the most apt person to comment on this one, coz where i am from, we use mothers's family name as surname. We are matriarchal in nature, i think we are the only exceptions in this whole India, as far as i know "Nair families" in Kerala are the only caste which is matriarchal in nature. In this caste, a girl child is a must for each family, as she will be the one who propagates the family traditions and name. Every child bears his or her mothers' family name, a father is almost invisible. But still there was dowry system, but then it was not a problem coz woman owns everything, she has the last say in everything, you don't believe after all these years as per custom, nair men choose to live in wives' house coz his mother's house belong to his sister, he has no other choice. Things have changed a lot but not totally. Today that old matriarchal set-up is breaking down due to nuclear family and new trend is extravagant marriages. Kerala is the biggest market of gold in this entire planet. Yes the reason is marriages. But new generation is against it.

  20. Ohh I didn't know that.. Interesting.. The Khasi's from Meghalaya are also Matriarchal in nature. And you are right it is upto our generation and the generations to come to bring a change in age old traditions which are a bane to society!

  22. God post.
    Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that a person came to the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) and asked: “Who among people is the most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “Your mother.” He then asked, “Who next?” The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: “Your mother.” He asked again: “Who next?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Your father.” [Sahih Bukhari]
    he Prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, said that, "Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother." (Ahmad, Nasai) This saying comes from a time when a man named Juhaymah, went to the the Prophet (PBUH) and said, "I intend to go on Jihad and have come to seek your advice." The Prophet (PBUH) asked him, "Is your mother alive?" Juhaymah answered, "Yes," to which the Prophet (PBUH) replied. 'Then stay with her and look after her needs. Your Heaven lies under her feet.

  24. Including or not including mother's name doesn't change her divine status Naba. Even in my religion there is no tradition of having surnames. We believe our heaven lies under her feet and fathers are the key to the doors of heaven.
    What matters is how we behave with our parents and the respect we have for them.
    Your view point is totally valid. Why not we mention mothers name instead of fathers for our identity? We must

  25. 'We believe our heaven lies under her feet and fathers are the key to the doors of heaven.'— Wonderful!!

  26. Liked it 🙂 .. I also asked Muslim Woman once why do you only wear Burkahs, why cant Men do the same…. Wearing a Black Burkah is really stressful in hot climate. I simply dont understand why this discrimination

  27. Indeed..I cannot understand it too…hopefully better sense prevails on people someday!

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