One of the questions that working moms often get asked is how we manage our time. Well, let’s just say, managing time is somehow almost always left on us women even though we hardly have the gift of time what with taking care of work and our homes both. I don’t know when that’ll change but managing time is certainly one thing that we learn to do early on in our lives. We eventually even end up having our own time management tips. But do you know what I have realised as a working mom who has been working for a long time now? The ability to say no goes a long way in protecting our space and time, in guarding our time. The importance of saying no for a working mom is undeniable.
It’s quite simple if you think about it. You need to respect your time and be firm about that. Once you do that, you’ll find that not only are your boundaries concerning time respected, they are adhered to as well. Of course, there is always some give from your end, considering the workplace more often than not always rewards people with no personal life. But that’s a chance you have got to take. When you say no to your time being abused, you can split your days between work and home. You can have a life outside of work with people who probably value you more. You can have some me-time too. You can have a life where you live!
Most importantly if you do not say no, your work will spill over to your personal time. As working moms we already have more than enough work to do or as everyone loves to say, ‘balance‘, then why make our lives more difficult? The other day while I was on a call, my daughter said she’ll grow up, start living on her own and I’ll miss her because now I keep working or cooking. She is right. Even with saying no, I still have very little time with her these days because I do not have my house help due to the lockdown. The point is if we say yes to everything where does it end? And is the tradeoff worth it? I think not.
Don’t give less importance to your time or your voice just because you are a working mom. No matter what others might lead you to believe. Do not underestimate the importance of saying no, for a working mom.
So, from declining calls during lunchtime to being unapologetic about adhering to your work hours and what you can or cannot take up within that time frame, your being firm goes a long way in ensuring you have some semblance of control over your time. And that is why I cannot impress enough on the importance of saying no. It isn’t a negative trait at all. Yes, it’s alright to say no especially for us working moms who do more than our fair share of unpaid chores as well. In a perfect world, where women didn’t have to cook, clean and take care of children, where food would materialise in front of us while we stayed put in front of the laptop, maybe saying yes to unreasonable demands at work would at times be okay. But since the world is far from perfect, saying no it is.
If you ask me, someone who keeps saying yes and has no record of doing his or her work within their stipulated working hours is one I’d be wary of. Of course, you could argue that is just me but it works for me. From the start of my career, I had promised myself that I will not let anyone encroach upon my time and many years later now that I’m also a mom, it works very well for me. That doesn’t mean I have a lot of free time but at least I do not spend my time for someone who won’t value it at the end of the day. I do my work and do it well too within my working hours so that when I say I don’t work beyond my agreed office hours they won’t have anything valid to hold against me. And that helps me sleep peacefully at night too.
Saying no lets you keep your sanity. You might not always be liked for it though. But would you rather keep finding yourself in distressed situations or be content with knowing that you are giving your best within your official working hours? What I am saying is there will always be people who will try to push things towards you or take undue advantage unless you speak up. Also, remember, it is not a sin to say that you will not be available outside your working hours. In fact, that is how it ought to be.
It is not a sin to say that you will not be available outside your working hours. #WorkingMom Click To Tweet
The strange thing is this same quality of respecting one’s time in foreigners is respected by Indians. They do not work outside their working hours and decline calls without hesitation as they should. But the moment it is an Indian doing that, it is taken negatively by our fellow Indians. When it comes to women, it goes an additional step almost as if we have to apologise for being women and mothers, that the work we do during office hours isn’t worth evaluating us on. I suppose this is a rot we have to individually come out of. We need to take the power back from others. We need to know our worth and be content in leading our lives however we want to without being guilted into submission. And that starts with saying no to unrealistic demands. It’s as straightforward as that. There will be a few who will still guilt trip you on it but a good leader will always encourage this habit of yours. I worked under one in the recent past and she has reinvigorated this belief of mine. But if you don’t find such a leader, make it a point to be that for yourself.
What do you think?
