PS:I had written this in the 8th month of my pregnancy, thinking of publishing it as the story of someone else. But somehow I didn’t get around to doing it. So, publishing it now for you to read, ponder and comment. I’ll wait to hear your views.
I see her at the office every day, working from the same building and the same floor as I do actually. In fact, her desk and mine are practically the same, with just a divider, like a mirror, separating us both.
The apprehensions of a huge change eggs on her to test her mental endurance much beyond her bodily threshold. Doing things on her own is just her way of maintaining a semblance of control on her changing body and even mind. Watching her makes me realise that bearing a child is no cakewalk.
From the first trimester itself, she has handled her team with utmost sincerity. I know for a fact that she wants to continue doing so till the foreseeable future. But at this late stage of pregnancy, health seems to be a bother, prohibiting her from going the extra mile. She sits with one hand at her back throughout the day, the pain being a constant, unwanted companion. And the itching, well, relentless. I can see scratch marks all over her hands and legs. It’s sad because she had such flawless skin but now it’s all gone. I don’t know why people keep talking about the pregnancy glow because all I can see in her are the after effects of one discomfort or the other.
Seeing her I realise the apathy of employers towards employees. I realise how much of an overhaul is needed. I wish there were policies to make things easier.
Thankfully, her current manager is a fellow who fathoms the pains a woman goes through during this phase. But just 2 days of work-from-homea month isn’t enough, that too in the last trimester. But these Indian IT companies are like those annoying mothers-in-law who only like to see you toil. And I have not even touched upon the maternity leave policies which are nothing but abysmal as well. So, you see it’s a systemic apathy that women need to fight and live with.
I get why there is this cloud of uncertainty in her eyes. It’s a welcome change for her certainly, this phase we call motherhood, but that’s not all there is to her. There is so much more to her being and every other woman than being a mother. But in India, you can either be a mother or have a career, most of the times. Very few have both and hats off to them to achieve that in the current set up.
While she has her family and her husband by her side but how much further can she go without support from employers? I can see she worries what her life will shape up to be once the shift happens. Well, at least one thing is for sure, her employer will have no hand in helping her with the transition.
What about its policies pertaining to pregnant women?
I hear you and you are so right! Pregnancy is not easy and needs effort and a lot of care. With employers not being flexible, it must be so hard for women. Gosh! 🙁
P.S : Have you read this? http://happinessandfood.com/an-open-letter-to-dear-minister/
Pregnancy is definitely no cakewalk, so I empathise completely with that. It must have been tough for you to manage so much so late into the pregnancy too. That is a testimony to your grit. Have you raised these issues with the HR team at the office? Sometimes I don't think people realise that it's so tough to work under such circumstances. Wish they did.
Agree, Nabanita! Been there, so know what it feels like. Although women constitute a significant part of the labour force in this country, they always appear to be under great pressure to balance their work and personal lives. And, it is not just during but also after pregnancy that, women lose out not just in holding down their jobs but taking on career advancement opportunities. We need to see actual reforms and changes that apply to the public and the private sector organisations, more than the lip-service that is usually provided!
When we watch films or read books pregnancy is either over-glamourised (if all is well with the protagonist) or shown as a huge trial. Actually it's neither, isn't it? It has its highs and lows – physical discomfort is definitely the lowest of the low. Each time you try to raise this issue at the work place you're accused of taking undue advantage of your condition – at least a lot of colleagues feel that way. The thing is an expectant mother does need some special benefits. More people need to realise that.
I think employers (in Australia) are getting better at incorporating pregnancy into the work/life balance, but there are so many jobs where you can't work from home and you need to put in the time and the effort every day. I believe that is where the inner strength we women have really gets a chance to come to the fore. It gets even harder when that pregnancy becomes a new baby with all the demands that go with motherhood!
When I was pregnant we had 3 Months Mat leaves and those could be extended with PL/ LWP etc all depending on your boss. Thankfully mine was very decent and understanding & I had no issues at work. Now we have 6 months Mat leave. Company policy aside I honestly feel that all depends on your boss!!!
Congratulations for the baby girl 🙂
First of all, congrats!! Welcome to the mommy club!
Coming to the post, there are a lot of issues you raised with this one post…The workplace is definitely not pregnant-woman-friendly! Have been there, have undergone all that, and so I'm totally with you sistah!
I like the way you've written this… like you've just stepped out of yourself and looked at your feelings from outside.
Congrats Naba. Enjoy mommyhood.
I can see what you say. But, things are a lot more better now with so many options for the women. There is work from home, part time work, option to extend leaves, flexible work timings. But, when I had my son over 16 years ago, there was absolutely nothing. I had a 15 minute walk from gate to the office and public transport not allowed inside. I had asked for concession to come in a bit late as I cannot run and reach office on time and I was ready to sit late for the same. But, such requests were declined citing HR policies equal for all. My friend, who was a doctor herself, was declined leave as the hospital authorities told her, it is better for you to be in hospital for any emergencies, anyway. When a friend asked for extension of leave on her 84 days, she was told she should resign and the company will take her back when she is ready to join. But thankfully, with increased women workforce and women in senior positions, there is a lot of change. And many more will come in sooner or later. But, keep the pressure up, surely will benefit future generations.
I know. It is so difficult to work when you are pregnant. And work conditions are just so tough. The questions facing a woman after her maternity leave is over is another tough decision. Did you try approaching your boss or your HR?
I know. It is so difficult to work when you are pregnant. And work conditions are just so tough. The questions facing a woman after her maternity leave is over is another tough decision. Did you try approaching your boss or your HR?
I understand. Fortunately, our company has good policies. Reimbursement for travel expenses of pregnant women between office and home and frequent work from home options are there. 3 month paid leave for maternity is not enough, so i took 3 months more on loss of pay. I think, Indian companies are changing slowly.
It must have been uncomfortable and frustrating, and I agree Indian IT companies do not care much for any employee anyway. I remember the Indian IT company behavior being so rude at the time of the interview itself that I refused to go for further rounds and joined Oracle instead. And yes, Oracle would give such leave even to its contract employees, not just permanent ones! Rakhee
Just the idea of it is difficult.. work places in India of course need major overhauling but more importantly making a plan in your head and letting it take root is more imp in such times..no? Like sticking to the flow.
As I'm reading this very poignant post, Naba, I'm wondering if you had to go through the same thing. My heart goes out to all women like you and her. And then after the baby too, there's the whole breast-feeding issue.
I know it's no consolation but women working in the US have even less pregnancy leave than those in India! Shocking, isn't it?
Hi Naba. I am sure it is very difficult to manage career and pregnancy together. Though I don't have any experience yet, I have seen my friends go through the rough phase where they had to give up their job as the company was not women-friendly. I hate when some managers don't give a damn about it and treat the lady very normally.For those ladies who have managed both pregnancy and career, hats-off to them (includes you Naba:)).Thanks for sharing your real time experience. I hope you and your little princess are doing great.Take care.
This issue is so important in the U.S. Although, things are better here than in India, we still have companies that have abysmal leave policies for pregnancy. You are entitled to take unpaid leave because of the leave act law we have here, but who can manage and take care of their family without pay? I hope you continue to speak out on this important issue for all women worldwide.
Pregnancy is a tough phase as it is, without having to juggle a career too. I hope we have better maternity policies soon.
Hugs, Naba. Sometimes even other women are not considerate with a pregnant woman. I see people in buses do not bother to offer a seat to an obviously exhausted pregnant woman..that's the state of our society…and workplace. I remember when one of my colleagues was pregnant, we tried our best to make her time pleasant – it does help when there are caring colleagues.
HR should definitely push in favor of maternity benefits 🙂
Yes Pregnancy is a very difficult time.. I remember my situation, we had a sick room at office where i would like to lie down sometimes, but unfortunately i never found a single bed vacant for me.. girls who were fit and on bench were relaxing in the sick room and playing candy crush.. none of them ever had the courtesy to offer their bed to a pregnant woman.. organizations are made by people.. and when people are not sympathetic, it becomes even tougher..
When I was pregnant first time I worked till I was 8 months pregnant in Tokyo then I had to fly back to India for delivery that was the last week I could fly international. But frankly telling you I enjoyed working till that last moment, it kept me active n let me follow my diet schedule on time. I wasnt working during second pregnancy and seriously I slept so much! My hormones change made me very lazy!!
It is Parul..I hope they do something about it.
Haven't read that post of yours, will do 🙂
It was tough Shailaja but had to be managed…I was still better some of my colleagues whom I had seen during their pregnancies had it more tough than I did..And the HRs, well, they don't listen to employee concerns Shailaja…We have been giving feedback after feedback but they are ignored.You wouldn't believe how worthless HR Departments are for employees…
I agree Esha but I'm afraid no one is taking this seriously..Especially women on top..They should drive this but they seem to have forgotten how tough it is…Sad, sad situation!
Agree Tulika..I also know that some women do take undue advantage during pregnancy but that's not to say that companies shouldn't provide benefits to women employees during this phase
Agree Leanne…I think with better policies and better options women will find it easier to balance things…And why only women, even men in India need to be given more paternity leaves..Australia, I know, has better policies than we do here..Long way to go for us really
Absolutely! A good boss, which is rare, is a must to make things easier and smooth..Lucky are those who have good bosses eh?
Thanks for the wishes
Thanks so much Shubhangi..You said it and I will go further to add that no workplace is women friendly in the sense that they still don't see us as equals just pretend to,,,
I agree Lata…I guess things will improve in the future…one step at a time eh?
We need to sensitize the people making policies but the sad thing is women in such policy making bodies seem to forget that need to do something for their sisters and make it easier, help future generations
The HR departments of such companies actually pay no heed to employee concerns Rachna…I have been giving feedback for 3 years now and not only me but every woman employee I know but still no action has been taken
Lucky you Mahathi and I wish more companies were like urs…Here getting LOP is also a headache because they don't give it to all..sigh!
Good Rakhee…Indian IT companies are hopeless when it comes to employee friendly policies …Good that you went for Oracle..
Yes, it is Richa…All the planning and contingency we need to do 'coz the employer anyways doesn't care
It is shocking Corinne..and yes I went through this … It's not easy and even tough we push ourselves to manage everything some help from the work place would definitely be good..we in India need to sensitize our companies..
Thanks Rashmi…We are doing good..Hope you are too
You know the fact is women, working or not, juggle so many things at once that some amount of help would be appreciated but sadly sometimes it doesn't come from every corner..
Oh I agree Mary..Sad thing is I don't think this issue is being talked about enough and this is one of the most important issues which trouble women in every corner of the world
Oh I agree Sid…
I too hope it changes for the better soon!
Oh I have seen such women too Vidya…I think if all women get together, especially those in higher positions and those in HR, and speak on this issue and push for reforms we can achieve a lot
I agree and to think of it such people are there in the HR department too which is responsible to improve the policies for employees which includes women!
True Sapna..I worked till the day my water broke 🙂 The thing is , it's not about working it's about companies helping women who want to work through their pregnancies work better ..I could have done so much more if the policies helped me be comfortable 🙂
I felt sorry to read this and yes I did hear about these experiences you mentioned in corporate sector. Luckily since I worked in a service sector, things were different for me and there was 3 months paid leave for maternity. But I do agree we need to have policies in place especially for women…. working with the systems not easy, hope more women voice out to bring out these issues …
I felt sorry to read this and yes I did hear about these experiences you mentioned in corporate sector. Luckily since I worked in a service sector, things were different for me and there was 3 months paid leave for maternity. But I do agree we need to have policies in place especially for women…. working with the systems not easy, hope more women voice out to bring out these issues …
Congrats to the new mommy first! You should just be basking in the glow of the wonderful creation you have brought into the world…at present. Worldly contemplations such as these can take place at more convenient times when you are better equipped physically and emotionally. But if you do need my views…well, there is no perfect policy in any company as far as I have heard of wrt maternity leaves and considerations thereof. Having said that, it doesnt mean we sit back and hope they will happen! Someone has to #bethechange, and I hope more and more dyanamic young women like you speak up unitedly and be heard. Cheers 🙂
Congrats to the new mommy first! You should just be basking in the glow of the wonderful creation you have brought into the world…at present. Worldly contemplations such as these can take place at more convenient times when you are better equipped physically and emotionally. But if you do need my views…well, there is no perfect policy in any company as far as I have heard of wrt maternity leaves and considerations thereof. Having said that, it doesnt mean we sit back and hope they will happen! Someone has to #bethechange, and I hope more and more dyanamic young women like you speak up unitedly and be heard. Cheers 🙂
I can relate to your words completely. Pregnancy is perhaps the most difficult as well as the happiest time of a woman's life. Lots of physiological and psychological changes as well. We need a tad more comfortable and helpful ambiance at workplaces. Don't know why the country's work policy will ponder over it…
I haven't expereinced this part as I was not working during pregnancy. But yeah, there should be better maternity policies. My sister had to leave her job when she got pregnant as she was asked to leave the job. I mean, how is that right?
That's not good. HR policies should be considerate in such situations. Sorry to read about their indifference. And people wonder why employees don't like their companies.
hugs!!
My previous company was a bit better for pregnant women – they had 3-4 months leave and an extra 2 months unpaid leave with a doctor's certificate…
We had child care on the campus – which was extremely popular and well used by employees
I hear you. I had to leave my job. Did not get any help from the company.I could have worked from home but it is dependent on the whims and fancies of the 'boss.' Finally got fed and chucked out the whole thing. Great post.
We have 4 months paid leave too Angela because it's mandated by law..but the process of getting that is also tedious and not framed considering how difficult running around getting approvals would be for pregnant women..You say it well, working with systems not easy
Thanks Kala and I hope things change for the better…I guess all of us need to speak up to see if something happens 🙂
You said it Maniparna…
I see some changes happening in some companies but that is still not enough, a lot of aspects are not even looked into
I agree Vinitha..It is horrible out there..A friend of mine too was laid off when it was time for her to go for maternity leaves..So unfair
You said it Saru…Sad reality is HR doesn't care about employees at all
Ahh I wish more companies were like that 🙂
My friend too was laid off…So unfair this is…I think we need to make more noise around this but I'm afraid no one is willing to listen..
It's very sad that India is so backward about this aspect. Here, in the US, we have the worst policy among developed countries in terms of family leave, but even then, it's much better because most of our employers are extremely understanding!
I'm glad you chose to write this article!