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My little munchkin, M. The apple of my eye and the sweetest part of my life. My M. Did I tell you how much I love you? Even when you are driving me crazy, I love you. Yes, that’s true. I love you like I have never before and I need you to always remember that for me.
There are so many things I want to tell you today but I’ll try not to get carried away. One thing at a time. Right?
So, I chanced upon a video the other day which got me thinking. Actually, it made me want to run to you and hug you tight. But these meetings, I tell you. Maybe someday I’ll get rid of these as well but for now, let’s move on.
Now, the video was about a working mum like me who leaves her daughter at home with a maid. They show how worried the mother is all through the day not knowing what is happening with her daughter. The anxiety, the helplessness and the desperation were so real. It reminded me of us, M. I could identify with the emotional upheaval that she went through during her time at work. And the smile and hugs when the two meet at the end of the day were surreal. It could as well have been me and you or any of the other mothers I see daily at the day care.
I cannot stress enough on how much I hate leaving you in the daycare. But there is no other option. I know that as you grow up, we’ll probably get very less time during the working week. And I feel guilty about it. But M, as you mother, I promise you that we’ll make this less more. Yes, we will.
Today while you were sleeping with you head on my stomach, you tiny hands holding mine, I promised to not let my work affect the quality of the time we spend together. Yes, there will be days when I’ll be exhausted or you’ll be cranky but we will make up for all that. We’ll have our own version of normal amidst our crazy. Do you know why? Because your happiness means the world to me. Also, because you are my chance at doing something good. You are my chance at building something better for the future. And if that means making up for lost time when I’m at work, then I will.
As you grow up, you may meet grown ups or even peers who may try to make you feel bad for having a working mum with other things on her mind. But I want you to know and remember that these will be folks with no clue about our relationship. They may genuinely care for you but still, they won’t know what we have. So, do not pay heed to them with respect to this. Yes, even if they have your best intentions in mind.
I promise you that we’ll have a mother-daughter bond that will be our strength, immune to the outside world and its views. I promise you that when you look back at the time we spent together, you’ll only smile. Well, most times because there’ll be times when I scold you or times when I’ll be cranky too.
Remember M, there may be times when we miss each other but even in those times, we’ll have the reassurance of our love, that you’ll never have a lack of. I promise you that. You are what matters to me the most. Yes, you do.
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