#MommyTalks | I Hate Change

(Letters to my daughter)
Credit | A. and I. Kruk via Shutterstock


Dear M,


Here I am again with another letter to you. It’s just one of those days, a day for a letter to my daughter. But don’t worry, I’ll try not to turn this into a sermon. Promise.


Now, Munchkin, as you grow up you’ll learn among many things one of the much-repeated truths of life, change. You will learn that change is the only constant. You’ll learn life means change. But the question is, will you like every change? Well, take it from your mom that you probably won’t. And let you in on a secret? I hate change.


Yes, your mom hates change. Well, not in everything because obviously, I would love a change of job right about yesterday! Or, a long weekend every week for that matter! But some things I just don’t want them to change at all. Ever. And today I’m going to tell you about what those things are for me. And one day I’m sure you’ll tell me about yours.


Remember M, how in my last letter I told you about the importance of family? You know that as long as you have your family loving and supporting you in everything you do, supporting you even to right your wrongs, standing by you even if they are probably pulling at their hairs for the mistakes you keep making, life will be bearable? Well, that is one of those things that should never ever change. I cannot imagine what I would do if that constant in my life was not to be anymore.


Let’s just say the family is that pillar in life that should withstand all changes and still be standing tall, supporting you.


Of course, there are other things that I wish never change, the way your eyes light up when you are thinking of some mischief. Or, how you run to me when I reach your daycare. The way you kiss me good morning the moment you wake up after a nap. Or, the way you recite your rhymes before going to sleep. That love, this bond should never change, only mature.


Some things in life I just don’t want them to change at all.


There is a comfort in the familiar, in set routines and maybe that’s why I don’t like change. But I also know how sometimes or rather at most times the only way to get out of a rut is to shake things up, leaving the known to venture into the unknown, into something better.


I know I should be the last one to tell you that change isn’t always great. Because let’s face it, life is all about change, change that keeps happening every single day. But I have to be true to you. I can’t ask you to accept the changes that life will bring your way when I find it difficult myself to do so in certain aspects of it.


Something happened today which actually triggered this letter if I am to be completely honest with you. When I called your grandfather this morning, he told me that he was out, driving around the city ticking off chores. You know that’s a normal back home. Something that I had gotten used to. But in the past few weeks with your grandfather being admitted to the hospital and not taking the car out alone, something had shifted. And it bothered me. A lot. That’s why when he told me to call back later because he’s driving, I was over the moon. It might sound trivial but it’s not. It signalled things gradually moving back to the normal that I grew up with and live with now that I’m so far away from them. I needed that.


Life is a series of changes but in that certain things need to be constant. #MommyTalks Click To Tweet


Life is complex in too many ways and that’s why you need to have your Sheldon’s spot (you’ll learn what that is soon enough) which never changes and is your compass. For me, that’s your grandma picking up the phone in the morning and telling me that she’s too busy to talk to me while I still don’t hang up. For me, it’s your grandfather driving out and about in the city or out of station doing the things that keep him happy and busy. For me, it’s your aunt fighting with me for never giving her too much space yet basking secretly in the glory of my attention. Okay, the last part is just a stretch of my imagination but still. And for me, it’s your dad and I spending lazy weekends together, you being your usual naughty and exhausting self but still the three of us together. I don’t need much provided all these continue to be just how I need them to be. These are the things I wish never change.


As you grow, you’ll learn that change is inevitable. If I look back at my life then even I can see it has been but a series of changes. But even in that, there were certain constants. My beliefs, my faith, my morals and above all my family. These are pillars which we all need in life. These are anchors that prevent our lives from flying out of a safe trajectory. I wish you too find what yours are someday, yet remember that change is alright and often the only driving force of life.




I want my daughter to know that it's okay to hate change. It's okay to be a little flawed. #parenting #motherhood


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13 thoughts on “#MommyTalks | I Hate Change”

  1. I sincerely hope it remains like this for long enough for you to be tired of it I can understand how wonderful it feels to see parents get on their old routine. Makes us feel better that they are all well… Just like the way we want.
    I am sure M ia going to enjoy reading all these letters. It will definitely help her to understand you better
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  2. Absolutely! When it comes to the health of our parents and the things that they do, we’d want the routine to never change. Like you said, change is inevitable. You see it the most with kids. Cherish these days as hectic as they are. You will miss this phase when they are older and not so cute. I find myself picking up their child albums and spending hours oohing and aahing over how they were.

  3. There is a comfort in things that are familiar. It’s nice like hugging a teddy bear on a windy night. It’s hard to embrace change but change is what is what life is all about. It is dynamic and it keeps the world an exciting place in which to live.

  4. We start taking our routines for granted until the time we get into crises. Our parent’s health, for example. We are so much at peace when they are healthy but the moment something happens we start fretting. These kind of changes are indeed not welcome. I love the tone of the letter. It’s so endearing!

  5. Such a beautiful post, I too hate change, I take comfort in routine and in the familiar. There has been so much change in my life the last few months and I am trying to embrace it but it is hard. Sending love to you and your family. #mg

  6. I am in awe of you for having written so well about the change. I can see all your letters to M are going to be an invaluable asset for her. Keep writing them. Keep sharing your life lessons.
    The part about parents’ health forms a major part of my concerns for now. My parents have been there with me giving me strength, always. And, now that they are in their 60s and I see them slowing down taking a back seat especially my father, I see a change which I am not comfortable with. The fact is I can’t do anything about it except for witnessing it because this is the cycle of nature. Where they are today, I am also going to be there one day.
    Anamika Agnihotri recently posted…Weight – the gains and losses #MondayMusingsMy Profile

  7. Change is inevitable Naba but yet, we humans are seldom 100%preparec for a change when it actually happens. It’s a universal truth. Glad M’s grandfather is back and going about his routine .for the elderly folk, going about their routine gives them immense happiness. And we should be content with this.

  8. And right now I’m cribbing about changing my bathroom. It has to be repaired and that’s that! Somethings just have to change! But I understand your sentiment about your father returning back to normal. My dad too had a health issue that had him shift downstairs. I was glad to hear that he had moved back to his own room upstairs and even happy that he could shout at my mom!
    bellybytes recently posted…Breakfast with Anna Shetty #FlavoursomeTuesdaysMy Profile

  9. What a lovely letter. You are so right that while change is so talked about and the only constant, all of us are comfortable with some and not so much with others. Parents routine when it changes worries me too. It’s the time of life we are in and that there are worries and concerns.
    M is going to live reading these when she grows up. Btw, 13 more days to M turning two. Right? ❤️

  10. That is a beautiful letter to your daughter, one I am certain she will appreciate one day. You can read the love in between the lines. #mg xoxo

  11. this is such a fantastic lesson to teach our children and yet one hat can be so hard to learn. I struggled against change, yet change has made my life so completely wonderful. But still it is those constants nd our morals and beliefs that keep things steady. Beautifully written #mg

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