Intercaste Marriages…

Why is “Inter caste” marriage looked as a “sin” to people….??
In 2008-09, there were only 4,750 inter-caste marriages in India considering to what number the population of our country is sky rocketing ….!!!
Are we still living in Medieval India….???
Nitish Katara,Rizwanur Rahman,Nirupama……. who’s going to be next…??
Loyalty to family, clan and caste is considered important in India.

It is forbidden for the young to be in love with the β€˜other’, no mater how capable he or she is, “caste” is given top priority by elders.We have no respect for the individuals who belong to other castes…strange…!! and We are the ones’ creating hoopla about “respect” and “duty”.History tells us that society was divided into “caste” based on an individuals occupation…hmm…so shouldn’t two people in the same profession be allowed to be married…!!!???Communities boast of traditions…In that pride we become conceited and to an extent inhumane…but is it the community or the individual?

“biraadari” , “samajh” , “bhasha”….. we hide behind these cloaks…but is it our hypocrisy or just ignorance…The strangest thing is even good people, people who have never ever done anything remotely wrong in their lives sadly think the same way…I wish to change this thinking…but what can I do… I am just a person…. an “other” for so many “others”.

Hinduism declares that there are always innumerable paths to God n one’s belief or perception of God is an individual matter.Although Hinduism is historically one of the worlds most tolerant religions, inter caste marriage is still a taboo for Hindus !!!!

Young couples belonging to different castes and religions find it very difficult to marry each other due to the protests from their families.More often then not inter caste marriage ends in honor killing…But this is the scenario after marriage…what happens to people who can’t marry due to social restrictions…due to “caste”…Is an individual’s decision on Inter-Cast marriage;an individual’s fate OR the fate of the society?”Rules” to marry within the same “caste” had been made by a bunch of nonchalant ignorant people who are now dead and gone…but sadly we people in modern times too follow these rules….Instead of fighting against poverty,illiteracy,female infanticide,dowry n dowry related deaths,water,electricity shortage,murders,rapes…we spend our time and energy in ensuring 2 perfectly compatible people never marry each other as they belong to different caste.

“caste” is a cancer that has plagued the happiness and lives of many people….ruined lives of several….Only when it is made a punishable offense in law to stop marriages in the name of caste will We ,the so called upholders of traditions stop menacing the lives of many… or will we !!! What can deter us !!! ???

When two people are perfectly compatible and willing to spend their lives together,should a third person’s view matter…? I say it may matter specially in a country like India where the opinions of near and dear ones are important….But should the “third persons” have the final say… I don’t think so….It is time we do something about this to remove this bane from our society…
There have been so many instances of inter caste inter fate marriages working,why can’t we learn from that !!!If some people can live happily in spite of belonging to different backgrounds then why can’t we allow the rest of the people to even try doing it…When will we stop being egocentric…It is us who makes up this society so can’t we make a promise that we won’t mock a person just because he or she belongs to a different caste….
Is it our fear of being ousted from our so called social circle stopping us from moving ahead and shedding this inhibition of allowing and accepting inter caste,inter faith marriages ? Perhaps yes… but shouldn’t we shut them up saying that it’s our life and our decision…Maybe our parents can’t do that…’coz this is how they have been forever…fair enough …but we can pledge as young Indians that we shall never stop our children from marrying into a different caste or different faith…Let us pledge to make India better…

“Caste”,”Religion” based divisions have always harmed the society…Think of how ridiculous it would be if we had say cricket teams for different castes…!!It would never work…Or say we would have caste based film industry or caste based seating arrangements in office…It would be disastrous… So let art,cricket, etc imitate life and let us take a step forward instead of going back to ancient times….

Lets advocate inter caste and inter faith marriages….Let it be an individual’s choice or else Marriage would become a burden and life a punishment….

42 thoughts on “Intercaste Marriages…”

  1. Well Said ! I have quite a few intercaste marriages in my relative circles and doing quite well. So the plus is things are changing atleast in some parts of the country. It will take time but I am sure things will change for the good!

  2. Well! Hindu myth actually has quite a few instances of inter-caste marriages. Devyani-Kutch for one, tough mostly it is Brahmin-Kshatriya in general. The only known major inter-caste marriage was Subramanya-Valli in Southern myth. I think that Hinduism as it is practised has tended more to these rigid and tyrannical attitudes but it is not preached that way in the Vedas or Puranas.

  3. Very well penned!! its a social evil and unfortunately politicians are encouraging the caste system to increase their vote bank

  4. True…an important topic to write on..did you know in Sri Lanka previous to 1975 before complete breakdown of Tamil and Sinhalese folks, the Tamil folks were willing to intermarry with top classes of Sinhalese communtiy but not with "lower" casete of their own Tamil community. In fact they collaborated with Sinhalese to drive some of poorer and "lower" Tamil castes away from Sri Lanka–a fact that is not often spoken about!

  5. Well said. It truly is a cancer to our society. However I think, over time it will change. In fact it is already changing. I don't believe that the statistic that only around 4000 odd inter-caste marriage took place in 2008. Maybe you have researched it from some findings but these numbers are seldom correct. I myself got married in 2008 and mine was a inter-caste marriage. But our parents though otherwise very conservative in their beliefs didn't say know when we wanted to marry each other. And I am sure there must be many more other such cases. But true it will take time, especially in the rural areas.

  6. I hope so too…! I believe it is one of the things that can actually unite our nation !

  7. yes …perhaps the reason is archaic belief system or some fear of social recognition or even illiteracy…whatever be it the attitude needs to change!

  8. That's good to know that you played your part in bringing this nation a little closer to sanity… I myself have married out of my caste and believe me I am very proud of it.. I like to say Inter caste marriages should be done if not for anything else than for the sake of Uniting the Nation !!

  9. A very good post…
    But more than the caste, I think we are divided in terms of religion and region..
    It is extremely shameful when I see parents making their kids as educated as surgeons but still do not allow inter caste or inter religion marriages…
    The problem with our country is..we are just literate..but still uneducated… This has been a pain point for me..someday I will be writing about this too

  10. Good article, Nabanita !! I like that you write on important social issues, great going. Good luck πŸ™‚

  11. Good work dear… We still live in a society that has many outdated beliefs and customs.We fear to change, that is the main reason. Anyway thanks for sharing

    village girl

  12. Good article .. well the mindset needs tochange.. thats alll this is a veyr important issue and well written.

    I dont know why people think that way , I mean in my own family my sister is married out of religion and Caste and she is living a happy life ..

    dont know when people will wake up

  13. Do occasionally say goodbye when you still want to try. Do occasionally give up when you still feel you can. Do occasionally tell you not love him anymore if you can not let go.

  14. We as society still need more time to embrace this concept whole heartedly..A huge % of marriages in India are still arranged, so those in minority will face the brunt, intentionally or sometimes unintentionally !

  15. Hi Nab,
    Jack is back to give you his views on your write up. The whole write up should give be given a big thumbs up because what you have taken up is a very relevant topic and it is too real though I some times wish it is a bad dream. I strongly feel and it is also true that people are generally good but all dont think alike. It is the education levels that really matter. I feel because of lack of education people fail to think rationally and cannot justify their point of view,they are more worried about towing the line put by the society rather than think independently and take a decision.

    I really feel along with highlighting the problems as you have done I feel you should also think of solutions which can address the root cause of such problems…… you have got a fertile mind I think every one can benefit…… Jags for u …

  16. Now parents has started giving their nod to inter caste marriages…..and yes obviously it's insane to think of marrying a person you know for last few days before marriage..

    Honor killing is something which is now just restricted to few culturally backward areas and yes,the administration has to work to eradicate this evil completely from society.

    One more fact is, now even youngsters started preferring inter caste marriages after getting completely bored with gf bf stuff….so the topic of intercaste marriages is sometimes ambiguous….but overall well written….:)))) keep up the good work.

  17. You are the awesomest blogger I've come across yet! This is the second post I've read of yours (after the Dowry one) and I've been shaken with the intensity with which you write. Hats off! Your writings are incredible and I am left nodding at every sentence you write. Keep Blogging!

  18. Matured thoughts of people is what brings the difference. I have seen a couple of instances where inter caste (inter religion) marriages hav gone terribly wrong.

    It is not enough if you long for a person when you decide to spend rest of your life with her or him, one has to adopt to the varying culture too.

    Yet the topic is highly debatable. Well composed article Naba.

  19. point here is that saying no to a marriage because its 'Inter caste' is ridiculous…also then going ahead and killing a couple because they married out of their caste is even bizarre and i feel there is nothing ambiguous about it πŸ™‚

  20. Thanks Mak… I would say even arranged marriages in the same 'caste' can go wrong and I have innumerable examples of that too :)… and as I said to Ashish above my point here is that saying no to a marriage because its 'Inter caste' is ridiculous…also then going ahead and killing a couple because they married out of their caste is even bizarre… Criterion of judging the success of a marriage because of caste for me is absolutely backward and atrocious!

  21. Well written!! Having done a inter-caste marriage myself, which faced virtually no opposition, I guess i am in a lucky place…

    But whats most sad is that the casteism is prevelant in the young…for all our so called modern outlook, we remain sadly medieval in a lot of ways. Change the mind, everything else will follow!!

  22. Very true…the so called educated young generation still believes in such evils is what the sad part is…!

  23. 4750 !! Do you know how low a number that is compared to the number of weddings that take place daily … I personally am 100 % in favour of inter-caste weddings.. though not necessarily for this reason.. I just feel that caste is irrelevant in the end.. it is the compatibility of 2 people that will determine how well they gel… caste cannot help much there, no matter what people say.

  24. very true…its about two people wanting to spend their lives together…caste is really irrelevant…

  25. Honor killings are absurd. Hate it. My point was reiterate that intercaste marriages too go wrong Naba.
    Totally agree with your point of view

  26. well where do I began, visiting you after a long time, was on a hiatus. this is a very sensitive topic and hence touched some cords. I have been facing this issue at my own home since last three years and after a tough fight of 3 years I have given up so you can understand what must be the state of my i dont think i can say out here in public but I wish we had similar discussions and counselling session for parents eho oppose this so called stigmata. Infact I am thinking of starting a helpline online to help others since i know what it likes to be on the other side.

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