#FridayReflections | Coffee & Conversations

 

If we were having coffee, we would probably be sitting on my balcony with our feet propped up on the rails. Comforted by the afternoon sun, I would tell you how busy the past week has been. I would tell you how this week again began with a sleepless night. But nevermind that, every mother goes through her share of those, right? So, if we were having coffee I would tell you about a wonderful book that I recently read. The Help by Kathryn Stockett. What can I say, I think it has become one of my favourites now. The book is set in the 1960s in Jackson, Mississippi and gives a peek into the lives of African American maids. Tell you what, I just can’t stop thinking about it. I just can’t. The characters, the background and the writing. The book as a whole really. So, if we were having coffee, I would probably talk about it nonstop with you and share one of its quotes too with you, one which will stay with me for a long time.

 

“Wasn’t that the point of the book? For women to realize, We are just two people. Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I’d thought.”

 

Makes sense, doesn’t it?

 

Just a few weeks back I had written that women need to have each other’s backs because truly nothing much separates us. Working or not, mothers or not, married or not, we are basically the same. So, I would go on and on about this message in the book as half of my coffee probably gets cold.

 

I would then tell you about the man from work who advised me or rather directed me to manage my time better while reheating my coffee in the microwave. I would tell him how I have thought about the perfect retort to him at least a hundred times in two days. His exact words were expectation is you manage your time better and that too with an obnoxious look on his face. According to people like him working hard only means staying in the office for at least 10 hours every day. I would tell you how angry people like him make me.

 

I would also tell you ever since then the sight of men whiling away their time in office, having tea or smoking or heating lunchboxes prepared by the women in their lives makes me want to beat their heads together. Not that I’d do it. But their ignorance and apathy make me want to ask them something. If for a change they had to manage work and home both would they be able to stay at work for longer hours? If they had to do everything from packing lunch boxes for them, their wives and their kids to managing work, and everything in between would they be able to stay 10 to 12 hours in the office? Would they then tell me that I should manage my time better? No, they wouldn’t. Maybe my next #FeministMonday post should be on how men have it easy.

 

Most men have it easy because women take up the bulk of the work and sacrifice. #WorkingMom Click To Tweet

 

Most men have it easy because women take up the bulk of the work and sacrifice. And even after that, they have the gall to tell women like me to manage our time better. I would probably tell you how I hate such men, such people. And somehow I still keep running into them. Maybe it’s a sign from God to do something about it. But what?

 

If we were having coffee, ….well, look at that, our mugs are already empty. And I didn’t let you speak even once. My bad.

Shall we get refills while you fill me in on your week? Yes? Go on then.

 

Pic Credit | Antonio Guillem via Shutterstock

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Linking to #FridayReflections hosted by Corinne from Everyday Gyaan and Sanch from Living my Imperfect Life.

11 thoughts on “#FridayReflections | Coffee & Conversations

  1. Most men have it easy because women take up the bulk of the work and sacrifice. #WorkingMom
    Sad, but true. Even I get angry when women have to hurry at 5pm to pickup kids and attend client call from home, while men can go to many smoking breaks in office hours, stay till 10 pm and leave office late creating a scene as if they worked harder being at office.
    Mahati ramya adivishnu recently posted…Life in a fast forward mode #FridayReflectionsMy Profile

  2. I know, Naba. There are times when I feel I am so overwhelmed with work. Compared to the husband, I do so much more. The kids always come to me when it is their project work or homework. I do most of the cooking at home, work full time, take care of household chores etc. despite having a husband who helps out. But, I still do so much more. Definitely men have it easy. I am yet to come across a household where the husband and wife do everything equally.

  3. I remember enjoying the book The Help too. Some of the scenes were extremely funny. As for the dude that told you to manage your time better…bloody hell! I hate it when people say stuff like that. There was this post doing rounds some months ago about the mental loading for women — we are the ones who plan and think and do most things. Even when men do chores around the house, they expect women to tell them what to do. Women are consequently always on the go juggling home, work, family etc. It sucks! I read it during the time I was still in a relationship and it made so much sense to me. Now it feels like a huge load off my brain as I’m only planning for one person.

  4. Thanks for the recommendation, have added The Help in my TBR.
    It’s truly annoying when people pass judgement like that. I think he must step into the shoes of a working woman for a day. While men do help around the house these days but it is not their primary responsibility. And in fact they would be praised for doing such household chores because it is considered outside their daily work expectations. While women have to handle home, work, kids and everything and still not appreciated for the same. Sad reality which should certainly change!!

  5. It felt as if you were sitting here, in front of me, and talking to me about your week, about that lovely book which I am definitely going to read, and about that obnoxious, annoying, irritating idiot in your office who had the gall to tell you to manage your time better…that idiot! He needs a tight rap, I tell you! In fact, every man, who says that to a woman irrespective of who she may be.

    Do give him a piece of your mind, Nabanita..the perfect retort ..to shut him up, once and for all!
    Shilpa Gupte recently posted…The brave heart who helps nab perverts. #WATWBMy Profile

  6. My sis and I were brought up by a working mother. I have seen how tough it can be and how bravely my mother endured everything to make sure we could do well in life. Thanks for underlining it.

  7. Ah.. the pain of letting the men at office excel in their goals which you can only dream about. I am thinking of taking up smoking and drinking if they would let me into their little boy social events which they have after office hours. Almost all men I work with have their wives not working. They look down at us as doing less work as we keep flitting in and out of office. But, why am i complaining. I just need to manage my time better.
    Lata Sunil recently posted…Guest Post : Saiswaroopa on AvishiMy Profile

  8. In the United States we have an unofficial institution called “work wives”. That term describes women who wait on male coworkers – purely platonic. They listen to the men and their problems. They may pick up the man’s dry cleaning. They will even eat lunch (at least, it’s from the cafeteria) with their work “husbands”. These aren’t secretaries to these men – these relationships just seem to happen. Almost every office seems to have those relationships. You may laugh, but for years I wouldn’t even drink coffee at work as I refused to make pots of coffee for the men around me.

  9. What you say about men whiling away their time; not to make a sweeping statement but it is just so true :/ A team mate is able be in office for 12 hours every day (doesn’t matter how long he spends at his desk, he probably goes for more breaks in a day than I do in three) simply because all he has to do is get ready and get to work, go home and order food, and sleep. He has a reputation for “going the extra mile”. I actually got told at an appraisal meeting that he is a more “reliable” resource than I, simply because I’m available for ten hours on weekdays and no more. And my boss was a lady. Go figure.

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