How To Deal With Disappointment?

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“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
― Alexander Pope


If only it were that simple. We all expect something extra even when we say that we don’t. A little more love. A little more understanding. More money. More happiness. More leaves! Appreciation, acknowledgement and accolades. More time. More opportunities. Basically, more of everything else. And if not more then at least what we deserve or what we think we deserve. It’s a very human thing to do, very natural. But when that doesn’t happen, it’s disappointment that we are forced to come face to face with. And how do we deal with that disappointment is sometimes the million dollar question because the world is certainly not kind enough to always give you what you deserve.


“There are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. And when they let you down, shifting from where you’ve carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand.”― Sarah Dessen, Someone Like You


How to deal with disappointments?


Anger, Denial or trying one more time?


Truth is, disappointments are hard to deal with whether in relationships or at work. What sense does it make when everything you have worked for is turned a blind eye to or when someone you had faith in forsakes you?


Disappointments happen when our efforts go unrecognised when we fail in spite of putting our sincere efforts in whatever it is we are doing. It’s anything but simple to deal with the void you feel when that happens. It’s often seen as a failure despite your best efforts. Seeing beyond that is not possible at most times. But in the midst of all the mopping, heartbreak and tears, if we can just hold on to that fact that we tried, that we gave it our all, it would perhaps help us in the long run.


I worked really hard this past year. And even won accolades from my clients for the same. Handling huge releases is in itself challenging for anyone. Do that while managing a home and a naughty two-year-old while rushing from work to home and back and you’ll know expecting favourable returns for that is well, acceptable. Naturally, I wanted to be given my due but surprise, surprise that didn’t happen because maybe it’s just my luck. And I sulked. I won’t lie that hurt quite a bit and made me want to weigh my options even quit because isn’t that the easier way out?


Of course, if we are being positive then disappointments may be and perhaps should be looked at as blessings too. But I’m not saying that’s an easy thing to do. Well, certainly not for me. It needs work. Sometimes a lot of work.


“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”― Eliza Tabor Stephenson


So many times we come across posts on how people gave up their lives when a relationship failed or when they failed to achieve something they wanted to. This is what the cloak of disappointment does to you because it comes dressed up as a failure. And that’s why I want all of us to remember a few things which might help.


Disappointment isn’t a failure. And even if it is, failure isn’t bad. In fact, as cliched as it sounds, disappointments are opportunities to reevaluate and reinvent not forgetting that we have done our best. It is going to take a lot of heart and effort to do that, I know. But it would do us good to remember that it can be done. Disappointments are rarely due to faults of our own and as you know we rarely have control over what someone else does or doesn’t. So, why take their error as our defeat and give it a negative tinge for us.


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While coming up with this post I realised it’s not my fault that the powers that be couldn’t see or even acknowledge how much I have done and without any help from them. So why should I quit? I did nothing wrong. If anything it’s a shortcoming at their end that they couldn’t appreciate how much hard I worked. And if failure is bad then it is them who have failed, not I. I know I have been sincere and with time I’ll get my due. After all, every dog has his day, right? I need to believe in that, in some sort of justice in this world. So for the moment, I have taken refuge in the knowledge of that and for the lack of a better word, some bitching with my friends to deal with this disappointment. Hey, I never said I was a saint!


Every #disappointment is an inspiration because it ignites in us the will, the anger to do something about it. Click To Tweet


“A pier is a disappointed bridge; yet stare at it for long enough and you can dream it to the other side of the Channel.”― Julian Barnes, Flaubert’s Parrot


I’m not saying any part of dealing with disappointment is easy. I’m not trying to sermonize here because when I see the faces of those who led me to this point of distress, I feel anything but inspired to go past this. I’m not going to forgive them but I won’t punish myself either. So, I’ll get past this keeping in mind what they did to me or didn’t do for me. It’s not my fault and I certainly can’t let this ruin the other aspects of my life. So, I’m going to get over this disappointment and put this behind me even if it takes time.


Tell me do you have any tips for dealing with disappointment?








11 thoughts on “How To Deal With Disappointment?”

  1. Disappointment can be very deflating, Naba. Especially when you have done your best and you don’t get the results you expected. I guess I let myself grieve or even feel angry for a few hours/days depending upon the magnitude of the event. And then I brush it off. I make a plan on how to remedy the situation. Most times I’ve seen that this approach helps bring positivity back . And also listening to music or going to the parlour are techniques that always work.

  2. Disappointment is hard. I’m not in the right headspace myself to be able to give you tips for dealing with it as I’ve been really annoyed about politics at work. I’m open and straightforward and I cannot stand it when people are not. Unfortunately, people in management are never open or straightforward and that does my head in! When I am calmer I’ll let you know some sensible tips. As of today, I just came home and had a glass of wine. And it’s only Monday!
    Sanch @ Sanch Writes recently posted…Bookworm DiariesMy Profile

  3. Disappointments are tough to deal with especially when at the workplace where you have put in your hard work inspite of everything else in life and you don’t get your dues. But, there is always a choice about how long can you allow to stay disappointed. I may not be the right person to deal with a situation like this but yes maybe diverting your mind by either talking it out or indulging in any other activity which one likes can do the work.
    Anamika Agnihotri recently posted…Let’s say Hi! International Blog Delurking Week 2018My Profile

  4. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through all this, Naba. I’ve been seeing your posts on Instagram and I know rejection is hurtful and painful.

    As for disappointment, you have more or less hit the nail on the head. Letting go of expectations is one way of never being disappointed. But, we are human, right? So it’s not that easy to do.
    Another way of handling it is distancing ourselves from the triggers- emotionally or physically- so they don’t give rise to anger or disappointments. Again, not easy but a bit easier than the other option.

    I would still say let yourself feel the hurt and anger for a while and then let it go. In the end, it will be difficult but the only sane option left. I agree that failure can help us view things better if we are ready to see it.

    Hugs and I hope 2018 is a much better year for you, work-wise.
    Shailaja Vishwanath recently posted…Tailwind Tips for Bloggers: How to use Tailwind with PinterestMy Profile

  5. The initial few days after a disappointment are terrible. Even if I don’t accept it consciously, it makes me crabby and irritable. I do know what you must have felt on not getting your due at work. Talking about it definitely helps. It makes sense to temper your expectations. I hope this year is better for you Naba.
    Obsessivemom recently posted…It’s International Blog Delurking WeekMy Profile

  6. The saddest thing about disappointment is that it is inevitable. I was thinking of writing something similar on my blog, but it had more to do with how to handle bad news. The initial days after a disappointment are the hardest. It breaks you and makes you want to question you. Thankfully I haven’t had to deal with any disappointments at work until now, but in personal life, boy! People have been the most disappointing factors in my life. Not that I expect much from them, but they out do themselves every single time. Be it family or some friends.

    As of today, I’m dealing with a huge disappointment when it comes to some close people in my life. It has been a couple of days, but I am yet to come to terms with it. I’m trying my best to keep myself distracted and focus on other things, but the void does seep in. The bets tip to avoid disappointments is to not have any expectations or feelings associated with anyone else. But, can one do that?
    Soumya recently posted…International Blog Delurking Week: 2018My Profile

  7. I’ve always liked the idea of lowering my expectations in order to avoid disappointment, but in practice this is easier said than done. I am about to start reading the book “The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving A F***”: I am hoping this will help to deal with my expectations not being met! But, in reality, getting older has helped me deal with disappointment: at nearly 46 I just don’t care as much about anything any more, and it’s liberating

  8. After all these years of disappointments I’ve come to the conclusion you get what you deserve. In hindsight you will find that whatever has happened to you was for the best though at that time it is a bitter pill to swallow. I believe in trying and trying till you finally get the message that it was not meant to be. Don’t be disheartened Naba….. keep smiling. One day you will reach the top of the mountain.

  9. I have been toying with a similar idea to write about on my blog. WIll do so some day. Disappointments can hurt real bad, and the wounds stay fresh for quite some time, burning and raw till we can do nothing except accept it. But, one thing I have learnt from disappointments is that we can become stronger ourselves, help ourselves and see our dreams coming to fruition by our own hard work, without the help you were looking for from someone. My disappointments made me emotionally independent to quite an extent. I am still working on it,but I like the feel of it. It also lessens the expectations I may have from people.
    Shilpa Gupte recently posted…Sources and management of Vitamin E. #EVIONMy Profile

  10. Disappointments hurt. True. But, they are a part and parcel of life. I have been disappointed many times in life. and dealing with has varied depending on the situations. sometimes I have worked harder to get better at it and sometimes I have let go.

    Sometimes, I ask myself – how bad it was? Could it be worse? Sometimes, I just try to find some blessings in disguise. At times, I take a break and get it back at it later.
    Jyoti Babel recently posted…Turning 40 | What It Means To Me #MondayMusings #MondayBlogsMy Profile

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