I had read somewhere….
“Friend of my Bosom,thou more than a brother,why wert tou not born in my father’s dwellings”…
But in today’s day and age do such friends exist…??Well if they do,I definitely haven’t come across many…
“I HAVE had playmates, I have had companions,
In my days of childhood, in my joyful school-days—
All, all are gone, the old familiar faces…”
Its not like I never had very good friends…I did,and still manage to hold on to a few good ones..But there is a very uncanny similarity between all “so called friends”,which is-you are considered a good friend till the moment you are listening to them,sympathizing with their situations but just when you, being their friend, point out your friend’s short comings,so that the latter may become a better person,U become interfering and indifferent…Your friend starts referring to you as a “thing” in conversations with others….
A relationship is built on communication which is always a two way process…But most “friends” only want you to listen to them and their problems…and either they are least interested in what’s happening to you or they are busy broadcasting your plight to others instead of making an effort to find a solution….Even though you would have spent hours after hours being a silent listener to your friends,the same wouldn’t be reciprocated towards you…Your problems,heartaches are trifles always to these impostors who call themselves “friends”… So if this is what friends are for then its better we don’t have any…
Of course there are a handful few of true friends who don’t expect anything at all from you…They are there to accept you the way you are,be tolerant with your anger,be comfortable in your silence,and ready to lend a patient ear to your side of the story…They take criticism in their stride…
But like all good things, they too are few and far in between…
So here’s a litmus test to see if your friend is indeed worth having in your circle…Tell him about the mistakes he commits whenever he commits,or shun him when he is wrong..If he still respects you ,then hold on to him till you die…if not,then its better to die then having him around…For a change don’t listen to your friends ‘ stories about their love life or work,instead try making them listen to you….If they actually take a interest in what you have to say,then you’ve got yourself a true friend right there…if not, well even better…
In a nutshell,It is always the family to whom you are related by blood that understands you and accepts you for who you are…You would have had the worst fight ever with your siblings but then that doesn’t lead to destroying your relationship with them, let alone erasing all the good times you have spent together…But on the other hand if it happens with a friend ,the latter may hurt you and leave you sour forever,for giving so much trust and effort in your relationships with such hypocrites….But again…you enjoy the liberty; that you have with your siblings and parents; with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend,provided you are seriously in love and together….They are not related by blood but will be as strong a support as any blood relation….
I have had many friends or rather “so called friends” who have back stabbed me and some have even poured venom upfront…Believe me that it is one of the worst feelings you ever go through when you see the ugly side of a friend of your’s …Though sanity compels that you don’t need them in your lives,but there is always a regret-either ‘coz you chose such a friend or ‘coz you let them get that much close to hurt you….
To fairly conclude,its better to just have your family and spouse/girlfriend or boyfreind near you instead of “FALSE FRIENDS”….and blood is defeinitely thicker then water,though exceptions are there but finding one is like finding a needle in a hay stack.
well written.. We really need to take time to make good friends. There are all kind of people in the world.
Glad to have found you at Indiblogger. Your newest follower and aregular visitor now.
cheers
Kajal
Nice write up! The real friends are always few and they last a life time and are not fair weather cocks:)
Nice Write Up. I think it depends on individual experiences. There are instances where people find amazing friends but get stabbed in the back by kith and kin. And there are those lucky ones who manage to get the best of both worlds – blood and water 🙂
Thanks 🙂 !! Glad you liked it !
Thanks 🙂
True Indeed 🙂
Very nice post, Nabanita, one that obviously needs a lot of conviction to write about. I think it is a tricky question. Not all families are the same, and not all friends are the same. I have lived a great part of my life at a distance from "blood." Yet, when things turned rough and I needed support, the greatest support came from family, without condition, without reference to the past, and without any expectations. This, however, does not mean that friendship is in any way lesser a bond than this. I guess it depends on people and their subjective experiences. Enjoyed reading this post, and happy at how your blog is growing!
Hi Nabanita…beautiful and unique name……you are right …in our friend circle most of the so called friends are like that only…but I think if we try then we can find atleast few of good friends also….I have 4-5 friends with whom I share my feelings…and they are with me from last 14-15 yrs…I think I am lucky to have such a wonderful friend circle….
Absolutely ! It does depend on an individual's experience. Glad you like my post…Thank you so much …
That's wonderful….I agree a few good friends are often more than enough… Touch-wood for you and your friends !
excellent write up ! real yet thoughtful
Thanks Jasmeet…!
i agree with you,true friends are hard to find…in a pair there is always one listener & one venter; when the venter is expected to listen s/he quickly loses interest….force of habit? selfishness? whatever!
I wish I could send this to my so called x-best friend…:) but as predicted by the x I have severed all ties including e-connections, the reasons you mentioned just blown in epic proportion,
I've had friends at different times of my life but none who I can point out and say, "This is my best friend." Either I have moved away from them or I've stopped talking to them.
I am my best friend and that way there are no hassles and emotional upheavals.
Joy always,
Susan