#MommyTalks | Making Less More

Credit | fizkes via Shutterstock

 

My little munchkin, M. The apple of my eye and the sweetest part of my life. My M. Did I tell you how much I love you? Even when you are driving me crazy, I love you. Yes, that’s true. I love you like I have never before and I need you to always remember that for me.

 

There are so many things I want to tell you today but I’ll try not to get carried away. One thing at a time. Right?

 

So, I chanced upon a video the other day which got me thinking. Actually, it made me want to run to you and hug you tight. But these meetings, I tell you. Maybe someday I’ll get rid of these as well but for now, let’s move on.

 

Now, the video was about a working mum like me who leaves her daughter at home with a maid. They show how worried the mother is all through the day not knowing what is happening with her daughter. The anxiety, the helplessness and the desperation were so real. It reminded me of us, M. I could identify with the emotional upheaval that she went through during her time at work. And the smile and hugs when the two meet at the end of the day were surreal. It could as well have been me and you or any of the other mothers I see daily at the day care.

 

I cannot stress enough on how much I hate leaving you in the daycare. But there is no other option. I know that as you grow up, we’ll probably get very less time during the working week. And I feel guilty about it. But M, as you mother, I promise you that we’ll make this less more. Yes, we will.

 

Today while you were sleeping with you head on my stomach, you tiny hands holding mine, I promised to not let my work affect the quality of the time we spend together. Yes, there will be days when I’ll be exhausted or you’ll be cranky but we will make up for all that. We’ll have our own version of normal amidst our crazy. Do you know why? Because your happiness means the world to me. Also, because you are my chance at doing something good. You are my chance at building something better for the future. And if that means making up for lost time when I’m at work, then I will.

 

As you grow up, you may meet grown ups or even peers who may try to make you feel bad for having a working mum with other things on her mind. But I want you to know and remember that these will be folks with no clue about our relationship. They may genuinely care for you but still, they won’t know what we have. So, do not pay heed to them with respect to this. Yes, even if they have your best intentions in mind.

 

I promise you that we’ll have a mother-daughter bond that will be our strength, immune to the outside world and its views. I promise you that when you look back at the time we spent together, you’ll only smile. Well, most times because there’ll be times when I scold you or times when I’ll be cranky too.

 

Remember M, there may be times when we miss each other but even in those times, we’ll have the reassurance of our love, that you’ll never have a lack of. I promise you that. You are what matters to me the most. Yes, you do.

 

Love,

Mum

 

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Linking to #mg hosted by Mackenzie Glanville

16 thoughts on “#MommyTalks | Making Less More”

  1. Dear Naba,

    I can totally empathise with this letter. It’s the kind of letter I’d like to write for Gy as well. Do you know that even though I work from home there are days when I feel beyond exhausted by everything and just don’t have time for Gy? One of the things that hit me during April was just that. I’m now making a commitment to spend time with her daily, just me and her. I enjoy my time with her and I’d like it to grow and become better as the years go by. Wishing you the very same for you and M.

  2. This is something I can so much relate to. Being a working mom, there is always a side of me thinking abt the little one back home..whether he had his food, has he slept well, is he not hurting himself etc. Especially when he gives me that thousand watt smile and hugs me the moment I am back from work, I wonder why should he suffer if his mom is a working mom?

  3. I can completely understand your guilt and your frustration. But trust me, children understand. As M will too. And I am sure, you will make the effort to spend time with her that she will cherish. I’ve left both kids in day care when they were younger and now I tell them tales of those days that they don’t remember and we all laugh. Hugs to you and M.

  4. So happy to be back here… Reading your beautiful posts. I am sure you and M will find many more amazing times together. Take care.

  5. So happy to be back here… Reading your beautiful posts. I am sure you and M will find many more amazing times together. Take care….

  6. That is such a beautiful letter! Truly the bond between a mother and her daughter is beyond words, and I can only imagine the anxiousness in a mother’s mind during times when her child is apart. Hope you do get to make your less more, and wishing you a lifetime of togetherness filled with love.

  7. The bond that a parent shares with their child is beautiful and unique. Someone from the outside of that relation would never understand the depth and strength of that wonderful bond. I’m sure M will always know the value and care you have for her, Naba. Such a heartfelt letter this is. Take care dear. 🙂

  8. I felt guilty every day that I had to work when mine were small – I think as mothers we can’t help but feel this way, Sarah #mg

  9. A guilt we all battle with. But I guess the only thing to do is give it our best shot, and hope everything works out in the end.

    I loved the part about making less more. So well put. 🙂

  10. Oh I feel for you. However I’d like you to know that scores of moms who stay home are often not able to give quality time to their children. It’s about how involved you are in their lives, how much time you give them your 100 per cent attention and how carefully you listen to them. And that has little to do with whether you’re home all the time or not.

  11. I agree it is about the quality of that time spent, many mums stay at home and yet pretty much ignore their children in favour of doing other things. You are an amazing mum and your love is so clear in this gorgeous letter! Beautifully written, always believe in what you are doing as you are doing it to give your child the best life and being a wonderful role model to her xx #mg

  12. I’m back here after a long and tiring April that barely left me time to visit non A to Z blogs. The minute I got here I realized how much I had missed this space 🙂

    The minute M understands words and can read, make her read this. She will be super proud of you I’m sure and if it is possible, she’ll love you more after this.

  13. What a lovely post and that’s a bond a Mum and daughter need to have. The one that makes less time more important and valuable. Hugs Naba. So well expressed.

  14. Totally get you, Naba. Even though I work from home, I do feel guilty about not spending time with R, especially during these holidays. But, like you said, quality time matters more than quantity. I make it a point to talk to him about the day, his friends and even sneak in a bit of play time or reading a book together. You’ll find your balance with M and she’ll understand you too. I’m sure she’ll be a proud daughter. Hugs, Naba.
    P.S. wrote a post after a long while and since it’s on parenting, linking it up.

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