“Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you!” Chandru Sockalingam
Finding friends is not as easy a task as it seems; especially when one is an introvert like me. I take time to open up to people but once that hurdle is crossed I invest myself completely into the relationship. If I look back in life then I can actually count the number of true friends I have on my finger tips. It’s another thing that some of these friends have been with me for as long as I can remember. But making friends when you are in your mid twenties isn’t that easy! People wear masks all the time and you need to be very careful in trusting people; atleast that’s what my bitter experiences had taught me over the years. But what happened some time back made me more receptive and accommodating in my approach.
I had just switched to a new company and joined a new project. Being in the Dog eat Dog Corporate World you are supposed to be on constant watch for survival. If you are able to make even one genuine friend in this Management Jungle you need to seriously thank your stars.
So I was new in this huge campus with thousands of employees sprawling all around but I knew no one! All that made me yearn for my friends from my previous organisation where atleast I had a handful of people whom I could trust and share my feelings with.
I was asked to join a team of testers which worked for a US Client. It was a small team but they were a close knit bunch and had been so for quite some time now. Now imagine me an introvert, trying to find a foot hold in a new company amidst an already well strung group. For anybody else it could well be cakewalk but for me it sure wasn’t! I didn’t know how to start building a rapport with them. What would I start with? What were their likes and dislikes? Some seemed arrogant; some seemed stern while others seemed boorish. I wasn’t sure how to gel with them all. I had made a mental picture of them in my mind; I had labelled them with adjectives based on face value and that was stopping me from opening up to them. When I was busy contemplating all these; they took steps of friendship towards me. It was them who made conscious efforts to make me feel as one among them. It is of course always easy to open up to people when they take steps of friendship towards you. Gradually I started feeling at home in their midst and the long office hours each day seemed to pass by in a jiffy!
Often we spend too much time pondering on how to do or what to do but sometimes it’s just a simple gesture that is required. In my case, my colleagues made the gesture by asking me to accompany them for lunch. They say ‘First Impression is the Last Impression’ but perhaps we take this dictum a little too seriously. The biggest obstacle to friendship is when we judge people without even getting to know them. I learnt my lesson with my stint in that project with that group. Now I make acquaintances more easily and I definitely don’t make an opinion about people based on a few interactions with them. Obviously I do not get ‘very good friends’ all the time, but atleast I end up with people around me with whom the work place becomes more tolerable.
Often new joinees have such pre conceived notions which barrs them from being friendly and free minded. Well expressed. Good post
Thanks !