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If I asked you to draw and express who you were as a person, what would you draw?
Well, think about that for a while. We’ll come back to that later. Let me tell you what I drew and where this question stemmed from.
A couple of months back we had a team building activity at work. A fun activity really to get to know each other. An icebreaker of sorts. And let’s just say that the seeds for this post were sown there.
It is possible to express ourselves in more ways than one and it doesn’t always have to be through words.
Well, we were asked to represent ourselves using pen and paper but without words. Obviously, we wondered how that would even be possible. Don’t we always need words to express ourselves, to explain and enunciate as to who we are? But that’s where we were wrong. Well, not so much wrong as shortsighted. The fact is we had completely missed the point. It is possible to express ourselves in more ways than one and it doesn’t always have to be through words. We could represent who we were through pictures. Yes? The only thing we had to do was draw. Not really portraits but a representation of what describes us best, what comes to mind when we think of the answer to – who am I?
And we did.
Now I’m terrible when it comes to drawing. There’s not one cell in my body that is made to draw. But you gotta do what you gotta do. So, I drew the only things that made sense to me as a person. I have an idea as to who I am. A book and a pen came closest to that thought, that idea. And that’s what you see above.
Another interesting aspect of the activity was that we didn’t know what the other person had drawn. So, each one of us had to walk across the board on which the drawings were put up and write down our interpretation of it. In a way, we were writing down our perception of the person without knowing who he or she was.
Surprisingly or perhaps not so surprisingly many got it right when it came to my idea of myself in the present and of what I wish for.
But that’s when it hit me.
Am I only that? Surely no because I don so many hats during the day on any given day. But what if in this rush to don different hats and do everything, I’m accomplishing nothing. What if I’m stagnating, unlike others who have just one focus area and have the opportunity and time to excel in that? What if I end up not being excellent in any of the things I’m doing? What if I’m to remain replaceable and forgettable? It hit me that whatever I am or whatever I’m doing may not be enough.
Am I enough? #SelfDoubt Click To Tweet
A deluge of questions, right? Well, I think my time-bound existence these days is a reason for such sudden outbursts of self-doubt. I really want to do well in everything I do. Of course, that’s not humanly possible. The paucity of time makes me irritable and at times insecure about my progress because while I’m working on something, I have a million other things going on in my head. I don’t have the luxury of focusing just on one thing and forgetting about everything else. Perhaps, that’s my shortcoming. I guess I have my hands in too many pies and I don’t even want to take help or delegate.
You might be thinking how did I go from a fun activity down the spiral of self-doubt? Truth is, it’s always there on my mind these days. I’m scared of stagnating. I’m worried that I’ll accomplish nothing in life and that’s not a good feeling. I see everyone around me forging ahead and there’s only one question in my mind. How do they do it? How do they find the time?
A long hard look at myself and I feel I’m lacking something. I’m just mediocre and it worries me. But that thought is misplaced because there is nothing wrong with being mediocre. I guess the stress of juggling so many things is getting to me which leads me to wonder if I’m enough.
I guess I just need to keep reminding myself that I’m Enough!
But before you go tell me, if I asked you to draw and express who you were as a person, what would you draw?