#LettersToM – Dear M, I Want You To Know That

Credit | crazystocker via Shutterstock

 

As I write this, my naughty 15 month old is trying to dance to ‘heads, shoulders, knees & toes’. There was a time when she would stay put in her rocking chair. But now, she keeps all of us on our toes. Unbelievable how things change, how life changes really. Or perhaps how time flies?

 

Now don’t get me wrong the past 15 odd months have definitely been surprisingly rewarding because I never knew I could love someone this way. She’s now so important to me that everyone else is way down on the priority list. I never thought that was possible. But what did I know?

 

However, I must say that it has been exhausting too. Tough, challenging and non-stop. Sometimes I have even felt suffocated and burdened by the responsibility of raising and caring for a child. It’s not easy. None of it is, pregnancy, giving birth or now being a mother.

 

But we have somehow made through the first year. So, cheers to us. There are some things I want M to know at the end of this year. Things that I want her to grow up knowing but which she cannot comprehend just yet. I know this post should have been written back in November around her birthday probably. Something to celebrate her special day. But that’s okay.

 

She can’t possibly fathom any of the things I want to tell her now but maybe one day many years down the line she will. This one is for that very day.

 

So, M you turned one last November and I have been meaning to say a few things to you. Now that you are a big girl going to the 1-year-old toddler section at your daycare, I think it’s time I share these with you.

 

 

  • Ma and Papa love you the most. You are the most important person in our lives.
  • I decided to join back work after you were born. It was actually a decision I had taken much before you were born. In fact, even before I had conceived you. This was something I wanted to. Thankfully when the time came, I was able to follow through on this. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you like the mothers of those friends you’ll go on to make in life who chose to stay at home. I need you to always remember this.
  • We started leaving you in the crèche since you were 7 months old. My darling, it was one of the hardest things I have had to do.
  • Leaving you in the crèche doesn’t mean we are okay with missing out on your growing up years. On the contrary, we want to be there for every step you take. It’s just that mommy wants to keep working and have her own identity too which someday I hope you will understand.
  • I want you to know that we were there when you took your first steps. We didn’t miss it. Actually we didn’t miss any of your milestones yet.
  • You took your first independent steps a week after your first birthday and we were there, so very happy for you.
  • We celebrated your first birthday in Goa, just the three of us. You’ll be happy to know that we had lots of fun there. I’ll show you the pictures some day.
  • Since mummy and daddy have different mother tongues, we are trying to teach you both, Bengali and Hindi. You are even saying a few words in both, some you understand as well. It’s a joy and at times hilarious too, to see you try to speak. You should know that your dad is better than me in interpreting your words but I promise to improve.
  • Dropping you off at the daycare every working day is just as hard as it was on the first day. But then picking you up at the end of the day is the best part of my day. You have no idea how much I look forward to that.
  • You should know that being you Mom is something that I love. But I also have this need to be something more. Having a job, following my passion, these are things that make me whole. Someday if you decide to have a family, I want you to remember not to lose yourself as well. It is not easy but I’m trying and I want you to know that.
  • We have tried to be good and decent parents, love, but there were some not so great parenting moments as well. I just want you to know that we are not perfect but we will keep trying to do the best for you.

 

Well, I think that’s all I wanted to tell you, munchkin. Hope one day we read it together and then share a hug.

 

What are the two things you would like to tell you child at this juncture of your lives?

16 thoughts on “#LettersToM – Dear M, I Want You To Know That

  1. Such a beautiful letter, Naba. Your M is so adorable and such a happy child. I can’t wait to meet her. You know 7 months was an age when I first left the elder son at a day care. Oh they turn out just fine and she will love you any which way. Hugs and love to both of you. Let’s plan to meet up soon.

  2. I love letters to kids. And to imagine them reading this after many years. Beautiful letter. 🙂

  3. This awesomeness of writing letters to your child, so that she can read it when she grows older is so brilliant. Kids never have any memories of their younger years, and this is the perfect way to keep them safe and sound.

    The letter is really touching, Nabanita. M will be so proud to have a mom like you 🙂

  4. This is beautiful. I feel very emotional when I read such letters from mums and dads…reminds me of my own parenting journey and my growth as a person and as a mom. I can totally relate to what you say to your daughter being there myself through varying moments of introspection, and it was no way easier for me as a mom who quit working to stay and care for her baby at home. I always say this to my son even today as I did years back when he was probably your M’s age – we love him unconditionally and that he is and will always be very special to us no matter where life takes us and the other being that he must learn to value and cherish the everyday moments in life because it is these small insignificant moments of everyday living, the small gestures, the hug and the smiles that makes it worth the while.

  5. Having your own identity is important if we want to be good moms.I am sure M knows how much her mommy and daddy lives her.Parenting is a rewarding journey. But the struggle is real.

  6. This is such a sweet letter. It is heartfelt and direct from a mommy’s heart. I am sure she is going to love it once she grows up.

  7. That was such a sweet letter, Nabanita! I think you must try and write one for M’s every birthday, till she is 18. ….does it sound too filmy? 😛 But, I am sure she will love reading all these letters with you someday.
    God bless you both! <3

  8. Awww, loved the last line the most. I too promised myself to write a letter for my Son when he turned 2 last year but thanks for the reminder. We are in the same boat and can feel the weekday morning pain and evening delight. I would like to tell him that I am not perfect though I try to be the one always.

  9. This is my favourite posts. When parents reach out to talk to their children in a letter it’s the sweetest, warmest most honest feelings that come to the fore. I hope M reads this and feels your love like I can as a mum.

  10. Naba, that is so full of love, M is lucky to have you. Just keep loving her like this always even when they need it the least. They idolise the parents.
    Hugs to you and congratulations for the 1st birthday. God bless M, many more.

  11. Much love to you and little M! This was a beautiful letter, Naba. I am sure M will love this. Continue this birthday tradition 🙂

  12. So sweet, Naba. This letter is so real, no sugarcoating at all. I’m sure M will enjoy reading this letter when she grows up. That reminds me of the letters I started writing for Kanna. It’s been more than 2 years since I wrote the last one. Time to write again, for both this time. 🙂

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