November 26, 2015

#NewMomTales : 15 Truths From A First Time Mom


Whenever we are in need of information on anything under the sun, the first thing that comes to our mind is Google. True, isn't it?

Naturally thus there was a sudden deluge of advice on what to Google, all of it directed my way, when told I was pregnant. From websites to pages to browse through, I was counseled at length on searches to help me with a well informed pregnancy and later on, delivery. 

The need to google, in fact, is not only emphasized as a means to guiding someone else but a tried and tested means of making oneself aware as well. I remember observing a pregnant colleague of mine investing time going through every nook and cranny of the internet, searching anything and everything related to pregnancy, childbirth and babies.

So, you see how Googling and pregnancy generally go hand in hand?

But, did I do the same too?

Well, me being me, which is everything lazy, never really scouted the internet in much the same manner. I'm not saying that is a good thing though because being informed is always better than not being informed at all. I just thought that placing myself at the hands of my Gynecologist was what I was most comfortable with. Moreover, S took upon himself the Googling and Baby Center part of the bargain for the both of us, so I was anyways spared the guilt.

I did the being pregnant part, S took care of the information gathering end and we were sorted.

As you would have guessed by now, I dove in head first into the unknown realms of pregnancy and motherhood. Yes, totally unprepared. And today 13 odd days into the latter, I'm learning and discovering at each step, really.

I won't say I have figured out what being a mother entails because it has hardly been a few days in this new role. Also, you never can do that, can you? But there are new bits and pieces that I'm learning about myself and about being a mother in the process. It's all very new for now. I feel as though I'm writing an exam without having prepared for it. But that is also the beauty of it, isn't it?

Just saying, 

I have a daughter, or

My daughter.

out loud seems so strange, for now. And, well, I can't express what I feel. At least, not yet.

I'm also consciously trying not to make motherhood the only overpowering aspect of my life. I just want to make sure I carry on doing everything that I was doing before she arrived. Only experienced mothers can tell me though if that's even a realistic expectation or not.

Today, however, I'm here to give you an insight into a few truths about being a first time mother, a new mother. 

Remember, it's all about my own experience so far and it's not even been a month so don't take it as the holy grail, alright?

15 Truths From A First Time Mom

  • You become an alarm clock on a two or three hourly snooze. Yes, feeds do that to you.
  • You seem to be on auto-feed control. Your body reacts letting you know that it's time to feed the munchkin. It's not pretty or comfortable though.
  • You end up crying, feeling emotions you can't quite describe.
  • If you love sleeping 8 to 10 hours at a stretch, then you can forget doing that. Well, at least in the beginning.
  • Your sleep is divided into naps all through the day.
  • Cleaning poop and pee suddenly doesn't seem such a bad thing after all. Yes, for some strange and twisted reason.
  • The only scent that comes off you is that of milk, poop or pee. Or, better yet the mixture of the three. No Gucci or Roberto Cavalli.
  • Yummy Mummy is a term you start seeing as an oxymoron.
  • You realize Maternity Leave is anything but leave.
  • Activities like reading a book or writing is only possible when your baby is asleep or quietly satiated on your lap.
  • Packing which was earlier an activity limited before vacations or trips becomes something you need to do each time you go out.
  • You bombard your friends with anecdotes about your baby, even if they are not interested.
  • Watching a 45 minute long serial takes over 4 to 5 hours. In fact, at times is spread over days.
  • Most visited sites change from Facebook or Twitter to Firstcry and the likes.
  • Eating out seems to be no where in the horizon.

Well, those are all I have discovered for now. I don't know what the future holds and how this journey is even going to be. But I do know I'm going to share a lot of it with you, here.

Tell me what were your #NewMom or #NewDad Discoveries?

November 24, 2015

10 Reasons Why I Dislike Rains


Remember the poem Rain Rain Go Away ? Well, I have literally been reciting that for the past two weeks now. 


If you live in Bangalore then you'll know what I mean.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the allure of petrichor and the romance surrounding rains but there is only so much I can take of piling laundry. Yes, laundry which can't be done because the previous batch hasn't even dried yet. If you visit my home, then you'll see clothes drying everywhere but not really drying at all. And all of this makes me want to catch a hold of the weather Gods and beg them to direct this rain led damp weather to some other corner of the world where it might actually be needed.

So, today troubled by piling laundry and partially dried, still wet and smelly clothes, I'm going to give you 10 reasons on why it's okay to occasionally dislike rains. Don't blame me, it's the hypnotizing odor of semi-dried clothes that's making me do this! The rain feels like my spurned lover out to annoy every bit of sanity out of me.

So, here goes. 

Why I'm not so fond of rain these days and I'm sure you are not either, if you live in my city that is...

  1. You need to find a place in your purse or bag to keep your wet umbrella. You can't possibly like doing that?
  2. If you walk to office, school or college, chances are you need to pass through waterlogged roads in horrible conditions. There's dirt and wet mud all around that travels from your shoes to your home.
  3. The pot holes multiply like a bout of small pox out to cover every inch of the road which makes driving around the city a nightmare.
  4. Clothes don't dry as quickly as they should.
  5. The balcony is covered with clothes which are tired of hanging, waiting for that elusive sunshine, choking for want of fresh air and freedom from the suffocating pile of clothes.
  6. A room or two at home is again full of semi dried clothes, lying with arms and legs stretched, at the mercy of ceiling fans to dry.
  7. The house smells of clothes that are on the verge of a water soaked death.
  8. Traffic! You can't possibly live in Bangalore and not hate rains for the traffic jams it causes.
  9. Power cuts which magically creep into the daily schedule every time it rains as though the electricity board here is only capable of providing power under clear skies!
  10. The autos and cabs extort money from you knowing fully well how hard it is to get either when it rains.

Well, those were some of the reasons I could think of. And, honestly, if the sun isn't out soon enough I'm sure I'll come up with more.

So, rain, if you are reading this, please go away!

And you, yes you who had the astounding patience to read through my rain soaked complaints, do tell me if you love the rains? 

No, wait. Let me rephrase.

Would you still love the rains if it poured incessantly for over 2 weeks?


November 21, 2015

The First Real Moment When I Became A Mother

Never say never.

These words have never made more sense to me than in the week that just went by. Truth is, you never can say how and where life surprises you. Trust me, I know and perhaps you do too.

There are paths you plan to traverse in this journey called life. I'm no different either hence there has always been a vague blue print of things I wanted from life, still do. Of-course, destiny would perhaps have served me better if I had made these plans a wee bit more seriously. Well, anyways. 

In my grand scheme of things though motherhood had never really made the cut. Truth be told, I never thought I would ever grow up and being a mother was the grown up thing to do. But grow up I did and on 14th November this year, I became a mother to an adorable little baby girl. Oh! boy, there's no turning back now, is there?

I had always seen my colleagues and friends talk about pregnancy and motherhood with exceptional zest which made me wonder if that is exactly how I would feel when at the same juncture in life. Their lives seemed to change overnight and all they could talk, think and probably even write about was either their pregnancy or motherhood. So, I was curious how I would react because I knew I lacked in this aspect. I never really thought I could feel so deeply about being a mother as these women did.

And then I found out I was pregnant.

I was happy, no doubt, because it was something S and I had planned, even the time in our lives, everything to the tee really. But somehow like the other women I had seen from close quarters, pregnancy didn't overpower the other aspects of my life. I carried on in much the same way as earlier. Being pregnant wasn't the only thing that was in my mind, which actually made me wonder if I was missing some kind of sensitivity chip. Or, even if I had it in me to be a parent, a mother. But knowing me, I guess that was expected. 

Every other pregnant friend or acquaintance of mine always seemed focused only on that one thing during those 9 months, which was on being pregnant. Somehow, I never behaved that way. And would you believe me, I continued working till the very day that my water broke. So, up until the very last moment I didn't know if I had it in me to feel how a mother actually feels.

And then she arrived. 

From the moment I was pregnant, I knew I wanted a girl. Call me biased, but the heart wants what the heart wants. But lying in the labor room I actually couldn't feel a thing when she was finally out. After going through so much pain, all I was feeling was a strange numbness. It was an out of body experience really. I could see the doctors and nurses talking, a doctor checking on my baby girl, S almost in tears and the entire room busy in some kind of slow motion. It took some time for the realization to dawn that I had had a baby girl. I was relieved, not to mention extremely happy but did I feel motherly, I couldn't say.

What is this feeling of being a mother? When do you actually become a mother? Does it happen as soon as you give birth or way before that?

The rest of the day went by coming to terms with the fact that we were now a family of three. Good wishes kept pouring in, friends and relatives kept visiting and this was how it was for three to four days. Some sort of sleepless nights, getting accustomed to a new routine and a new life that we had to now take care of, that was all that occupied our minds. Or, rather we were just going through the motions without brakes.

We had become parents, all planned and executed like we wanted. But had we become parents really?

On the fifth day, when we took our baby girl for a new born screening test, that is the day when we probably became parents for the first time. At least, I felt I became a mother at that moment. She had to be admitted for photo therapy for 24 hours since she had jaundice. 24 hours in NICU without us. She had to be kept there alone, with her eyes covered under ultra violet light which would reduce her bilirubin levels. Now, this is a very common condition for new-borns and the rational me would have repeated the same thing over and over again had it been with someone else. But something happened and I couldn't bear the thought of letting her out of my sight. I just couldn't.

Seeing her in that NICU where I had to ask permission to even visit her broke my heart. How would I spend 24 hours without her? When would the levels decrease? Why did it have to be my daughter? Why couldn't it have just happened to me? Was it something I neglected that led to this? How would she stay there alone in the NICU? Who would feed her?

Somewhere in the midst of all these questions and countless tears, I became a mother. That was the day I realized that I'm just like every other mother. I can't bear the thought of being away from my child especially when she is sick. Yes, that was when I became a mother for the very first time.

This feeling is unlike any other I have experienced so far. I haven't been so restless and helpless ever in my life. I pride myself in being strong in the face of difficulties and tough times. I can run around taking care of my loved ones when they are sick and never show my vulnerable side. But this time, it was as if a wall had suddenly broken and all I had remaining within me were tears, fear and the longing for my baby girl to be in my arms.

That's when I took my first real step into motherhood.

As I type this, she is asleep next to me. We still have to do a test three days later to ascertain if the jaundice is completely gone and within control. I just hope it is because I don't want any harm to come to her. Even the thought of her being sick is something I don't want to entertain. I guess that's what being a mother is all about, isn't it?

Before you go tell me when was the first time you realized you had actually become a parent?

November 13, 2015

Meet The Greatest Man I Know

You learn from experiences you make,
You imbibe from whom you meet,
All along this journey called life.

No, I’m no philosopher but somehow these words ring true.

As we journey through life, people and events inspire us, shape us into what we eventually become. Sometimes good fortune, at times adversity, every trifle or every lot becomes a building block. But the most significant influence remains of people, those around us, those we read about. And when we look back there is always that one person on whose ideals, on whose life we try and base ours.

It's true. In fact, this reminds me of something.

When I was in school, there was a tradition of crowning a student from the senior most class as Ms. St Margaret’s, St Margaret’s being the name of my school. It was a way to celebrate and honor the best student of the class passing out that year. I remember being very fascinated by it all, especially the question and answer rounds, probably to hear what the seniors had to say. Among all the questions asked though, do you know which the most common one was? Well, I’ll tell you.

Who is that one great person in the world whom you admire the most and why?

And every time the answer would range from Mother Teresa to Audrey Hepburn, Vivekananda to Nelson Mandela. All great figures undoubtedly but I often wondered why no one talked about someone closer home. Someone they would have touched, felt and even talked to. But that was just me and my mind concocting theories of its own, like always.

But today I’ll try to answer that question myself. Today, I’ll tell you about someone who has been the rudder in my life’s voyage. He is the man who taught me everything there is to know about life, whose experiences I draw upon to take major decisions in life.

So, are you with me?

Born in to a Bengali Family in the North East of India, he grew up with 9 other siblings. Being the 8th child in the family, the youngest son among 4, you could say he was pampered a little but never to the point of being spoilt. Education was given prime importance in his family which he took extremely seriously as well. In fact, from a very young age, he was very much inclined towards amassing knowledge in any form available, books being the primary source. Hailing from a small tea garden estate, he walked for miles every day, crossed rivers too, to reach his school. But that never deterred him or his other siblings for that matter. And finally after years of hard work and focus on education, he went on to become an Electrical Engineer. That was just the beginning though of his wonderful journey.

From the moment he landed a job, he took upon himself the responsibility of his younger siblings' education and wedding. In fact, he made sure the responsibility lay solely on him. So, while his career was just starting, while he was just beginning to make a name for himself at his place of work, he was also simultaneously making sure his younger sisters are educated and later married into good families when the moment was right.

The next phase in his life came when he was poised to be married. Now, I’m talking about the 80s here where arranged marriages involved the groom-to-be selecting or rejecting a prospective bride based on how photogenic she was. But he decided against subjecting a woman to all this scrutiny. He didn’t want to subject someone else’s sister to what he disliked his sisters being subjected to. So, he actually met his bride for the very first time on their wedding day. You don’t find many people who can do that nowadays, do you?

Then a few years down the line, he became a doting father to two little girls. From then on, his mission in life became one of protecting and shielding his babies. But not in a way that stopped them from growing or spreading their wings. He taught them the meaning of being independent and the dire need for it. In many ways, he was the biggest influence in their lives which resulted in them growing up to be fierce and vocal feminists, never compromising because of their gender. Even today when both his daughters are all grown up they know only too well that he can move heaven and earth to make sure no harm comes to them. And also as long as he is there is nothing that can’t be righted, no problem that can’t be solved.

At every stage of his life, he has been the epitome of resilience, focus, love and sincerity. An honest man to the core, a family man and an accomplished professional, a self-made man, they don't make men like him anymore. Somewhere between his generation to the next, men have stopped being as awesome and wonderful as he is.

He is a man, all man should be like. Being a good man drives him and that is a rare quality in the world today. He is truly made of great for…

·         He has never spent a dishonest moment in his life.
·         He has lived by the principle of doing the right thing no matter how difficult.
·         He has been a good son, a good brother, a great husband and the greatest Dad he could have been and still endeavors to do more.
·         He has lived a life of honesty and made sure his daughters learn the same.
·         He was man enough to never subject his wife-to-be to the abysmal selection process common to arranged marriages.
·         He has made a home full of respect, love and happiness with the woman he married, stands by her through thick and thin.
·         He has never turned back from his responsibility either towards his family or his wife’s.
·         He has emphasized his daughters being educated and independent rather than learning the tricks of the kitchen.
·         He has never stopped them from soaring high, discovering themselves.
·         He has never subscribed to the nonsensical belief that daughters do not belong to their parents. 
·         He has given everything and more, still does, to his wife and daughters.
·         He is the most handsome man to have walked this earth with a beard.
·         He is also a die-hard fan of Lionel Messi, Argentina and Barcelona.
·         He is the best husband, the best father in the world. He is my father, my baba.
·         He is so much more!

I must have done something great in my past life to have deserved him in this one. Whatever I have, I owe it to him.

To him, I owe...

  • My life.
  • My education.
  • My career.
  • My beliefs.
  • My ability to live alone, be independent.
  • My life with my husband. Never for a moment did my father judge me for choosing a life partner on my own. If anything, he stood by my decision.
  • My love for reading and books.
  • Everything!
  • Oh! and my love for football & Messi too!

You have to meet him to know what I mean. He is not only a good human being but a learned one in the truest of senses. I wish I can measure up to even an ounce of him one day for then I would have definitely achieved something.

Ladies and gentlemen, my father, my inspiration and a man who is #madeofgreat in the truest of senses.


Before you go, a question for you, a contest rather. If I like your answer, you could win an Amazon Voucher worth Rs. 750.

So here it is:

What do you think of Tata Motors' association with Lionel Messi?

Go on, tell me!

November 11, 2015

Our Diwali - A Little Bit Of North, A Little Bit of East

I admire how people come up with the right posts at the right time.

What do I mean?

Well, you see, a Women’s Day post on, you guessed it right, Women’s Day. Or, an Independence Day post on Independence Day.

Now I, on the other hand, end up missing most ‘days’ or just somehow manage to squeeze in a post at the last minute. Sometimes I also feel that with so many posts on the same topic, what difference does it make whether I publish something or not? But then that’s just me justifying my epic tardiness or trying to paint my lethargy in some fancy words.

Today, however, I have decided to actually pen something, to write what S and I usually do on Diwali.

Now, before I take you through our festival of lights, I should mention that I come from the east of India and S from the north. So, what we have in our home is a mix of both. We like to call it our own way of celebrating Diwali, a little bit from the North and a little bit from the East.

Diwali of my childhood

My memories of Diwali include so many wonderful things that just the mere mention of this festival brings a whiff of nostalgia with it. It used to be the last celebration just before our final exams and winter vacations, so we always made the most of it. Lights decorated our cottage overlooking the huge constellation of sparkling lights on our little piece of heaven, Shillong. Engulfed in winter’s amorous cloak, the entire family decorated the pathways and the balcony with candles and diyas. It was our little ritual. No Diwali was complete without papa, me and my sister lighting up every corner with lights. Somehow the strong winds too could never deter those diyas we lighted from burning. Candle in the wind those, seriously! Even now, I think I miss that the most, doing things together. Of-course, crackers later at night were next. Even at that age, I remember distributing crackers among the other kids of the locality. It was really wonderful. Late at night we would also visit the pandals for Kali Puja. Good food, great company and beautiful clothes was Diwali to me and my family. It would begin with dad lighting 14 diyas as a homage to our forefathers and continue with all the other small little customs we had as a family.

Deepawali of S’s childhood

Ideally, I would have loved if S would have chipped in with a paragraph or two of how he celebrated Diwali, or more appropriately Deepawali, as a kid. But he’s too lazy to do that. I cannot get him to write even an application unless my life depends on it. So, I’ll try with whatever little I know of his childhood and Diwali. He grew up with Lakshmi puja being performed as the main event on Deepawali days. Then of course there were delectable sweets prepared and consumed with unparalleled enthusiasm. Every corner of their home lighted up, fragrant with burning incense, the aura divine. Sweets distributed among friends, family and neighbors being another activity the kids of the house were engaged in. And last but not the least, crackers. S loves crackers, for him Deepawali has to have crackers. Why am I even surprised? The entire family together on these auspicious days marked this festival, their main festival, year after year, every year.

Our festivals, today.

Being miles from our homes on most auspicious occasions, S and I try our best to fit in everything from both ends of India together. Of-course, if I am to be completely honest, we also try to maneuver around our office, which hardly gives sufficient holidays on festivals, and also our inherent laziness to celebrate. The result being, we end up doing away with anything that is too time consuming and focus on the enjoyment part most.

Our Diwali

We hardly make sweets at home. They are mostly outsourced from shops. Don’t judge me. Someone has to buy those sweets these wonderful shops prepare, right? In fact, even food is outsourced from one restaurant or the other. This is just to save time people. If we spend hours in the kitchen then how on earth would we enjoy the festival? Makes sense? Well,give it time and it will!

We love putting up the lights, that’s where we aren’t lazy at all. Candles, electric lights, diyas and flowers, you name it and we are always prepared with those. We also love those incense sticks. Every corner of our home just smells divine and we absolutely love it. Sometimes we also visit our friends and spend time with them. There are crackers too with S hell bent on me trying out everything. We do Lakshmi Puja at home in our own way because I don’t know the elaborate rituals, honestly. But it’s all about the intention, right? Well, at least that’s what S and I believe. Of course, I wish I could visit Kali Puja pandals too but we are not aware of any right here in Bangalore. That is what we do on our Diwali, well mostly, apart from spending the mornings at office. But that’s a discussion for another time.

We just focus on having fun, together, not only on Diwali but every other festival as well. We customize it as per ourselves and it makes sense too. At the end of the day, it's all about faith and family together, isn't it?

Anyways, that is how we celebrate our Diwali. What about you?

Oh, before I forget Happy Diwali to you!

November 7, 2015

How Depression Becomes A Bad Word But Shouldn't

What happens when we tell someone that we are sick?

  • They ask us if we have consulted a doctor.
  • If not, they urge us that we do so immediately. Yes, even if just for cough and cold.
  • They insist that we take medicines as prescribed and on time.
  • We are advised to take ample rest.
  • They show concern and are willing to help us within their means, sometimes even beyond.
  • We are cared for in every manner possible.
  • They even suggest good doctors and hospitals we can consult.

Well, these are the reactions more or less, aren’t they? Feel free to add more, which I'm sure there will be. 

What I'm trying to say here is probably that there is no judgment or raised eye brows to deal with when you are suffering from some illness or the other. There simply is genuine concern. Unless?

Well, maybe, replace the affliction by depression and the specialist by a psychiatrist. Do you think the reactions would be the same? 9 out of 10 times I think not, but that's just a guess based on what I have seen or heard people say.

This is what happens mostly in our society when dealing with clinical depression or any such mood disorders.

  • There is nothing like depression. Stop giving yourself so much importance.
  • Now that you are seeing a psychiatrist let's not tell anyone.
  • I feel so guilty having to put my family in such a situation.
  • Why do you want to see a psychiatrist?
  • She is seeing a psychiatrist. Stay away from her.
  • They must have a history of mental illness.

Yes, such uneducated and nonsensical reactions are what you can count on.
Sadly, a very few percentage would help without judgement. Most would probably just start treating you differently. And that is where the problem lies.

I didn’t know why talking about depression can be such a tough thing to do. It is after all a disorder that needs to be treated just like any other, isn't it? I'm no doctor to offer a qualified opinion but that much I think I know.

Just last week an acquaintance of mine pointed out what a harrowing time she had been having. This on account of having expressed a desire to consult a psychiatrist. Think about it. She is educated, recognizes she is depressed and unwell to the point of seeking professional help. You would think that would be the end of her problems and the beginning of her recovery? Well, not really.

She now has to fight two battles. One with the society which refuses to acknowledge depression as a disorder which makes her feel guilty about putting her family is this situation. The other with the ailment itself. Isn't that unfair? Isn't it wrong to outflank someone who is already down and out?

It is not seeking and seeing the doctor that is bothering her. The reactions of her family and anybody else for that matter is what has been making it an extremely difficult battle to win. She is filled with guilt which she actually shouldn't be.

I, of course, am no professional but I tried, along with my colleagues, to make it know to her that it's okay. You know, she is a brave girl to know and seek help. Not everyone admits such problems to oneself, let alone to a bunch of outsiders. She has been talking about it, bravely too. I wish she gets better. Actually, I know she will.

Meanwhile, I just hope our society would stop, think and just not attach unnecessary stigma to words like depression, mental illness, psychiatrist, counselling etc. It's not fair on those who are suffering, not at all.

What do you think?

November 2, 2015

10 Things You Shouldn't Ask A Woman (About Having A Baby)

Here I was ready to write about different ways to get rid of or dodge unwanted guests, thanks to my recent dealings with a certain someone, but what do you know? Life had some other plans altogether!

Monday mornings have this dexterity to curve ball plans into something entirely different. Well, that’s exactly what happened today. So, if you find this post tedious or too serious, blame it on Mondays not me!

Moving on.

What is your take on problems or obstacles?

Have you noticed how we always feel that ours are the biggest and the harshest of the lot? Whenever anything goes wrong we scream about life being unfair, especially on us. Or, simply that for some God-forsaken reason the grass just doesn’t grow green on our side of the divide. While it can be true, not denying that, it is not exclusive only to us.

Everyone has their own demons to fight. Or, their battles to win.

Trust me, just like us there are others who don’t win every battle, every time. But do you know what the sad thing is? Sometimes people don’t even win the war.

But what am I getting at?

Since we all have our share of troubles you would think we would be sensitive to each other’s plights as well. But the truth, sadly, is far from it.

There is a peculiar sadistic delight we seek in rubbing ones worries on their faces. 

While talking to a few friends of mine I realized how eager we are to intensify each others pain. Each of them had a story to share about that aunt or acquaintance who crossed the line into hurting them in the guise of concern. 

Take the example of married women in India who do not yet have a child, are trying to have a child or choose not to have a child. Here's what happens.

  • The woman, more than the man, is subjected to uncomfortable questions about her fertility.
  • She is made to feel that motherhood is everything there is to a woman's life.
  • If the woman has any other health issues, she is constantly badgered about those accompanied by unsolicited advice on how to tackle that in to having a baby.
  • If the couple decides to not have a child, the woman is made to feel awful about her decision.

I have just mentioned a few things here. Believe me when I say this, there is more. It's all true too because these are not derived after reading some news reports or a figment of my imagination. These are conclusions I have arrived at after having spoken to many of my friends and colleagues over the years. And being married for almost 5 years now, I have faced a fair bit of nonsense from these nosy buffoons as well.

For some reason, we find it reasonable to hit where it hurts or pull someone down further. Sometimes we do it without even realizing it. Yes, that's how normal (not) it is to do that here. We poke our nose in a business which is not really ours, time and again. Strange thing is, we don’t even care if that eventually hurts someone. We don't care if our poking leaves a long term impact on the psyche of someone.

I usually deal with unsought advise by making it clear in no uncertain terms that it is only my business and nobody else's. If they can be shameless, what's stopping me from being blunt? But not everyone is the same.

I don't know why we as humans do that. Do you?

But I can tell you this that there are certain things we shouldn't even dare ask someone, let alone a woman. We need to know our limits. We need to know where to draw the line.

So, maybe the women our there need to put up a list to thwart these nonsensical inquiries. A list saying which questions shouldn't be asked of them ever. Maybe walk with copies of this list into a room full of these praying mantis types?

What do you say?

Here is a list that I can think of. You are welcome to add yours here.

  • Are you pregnant?
  • When are you having a baby?
  • Are you planning to have a baby?
  • What it's been a year and still no baby?
  • Why don't you get yourself checked since no good news yet?
  • Why don't you want to have a baby?
  • When are you giving us the good news?
  • Are your cycles fairly regular?
  • You had a baby girl. Good. Now, when are you planning for the boy baby?
  • When are you planning for the second baby?

Seems I covered all variations for married women, well, almost. Why don't you add on to the list too?


Linking to #MicroblogMondays & #MondayMusings



October 31, 2015

Be Selfish, Be Happy. Gift Something To The Ones You Love!

Remember Joey Tribianni of FRIENDS fame? Well, one of his quotes was - there are no truly selfless acts in this world. Even though that’s a surprisingly deep sentiment coming from this character, I must say I agree with him. The world is but a selfish place. Yes, there’s always an ulterior motive to everything we do. Don’t believe me? Let me convince you otherwise.

At the end of the day, we are all selfish!

What is the ultimate driving force behind everything you do, everything you want to do? Being happy, isn’t it? Break down any goal of yours, at the nucleus you will find the desire for happiness. Yes, the one thing that takes us through life, its innumerable twists and turns, is the relentless need to be content at the end of it all. And what is contentment? Just another way of describing, well, happiness, our own happiness.

Where am I going with this?

Like it or not the world is indeed selfish because ultimately we want to feel satiated, don’t we? You may beg to differ saying there are things we do just to make those we love happy. Surely. But isn’t that too, at the end of the day, just a personal win for us?


Don’t look so deflated though because in no way am I saying that it is a bad thing. It is a good thing, a great thing in fact that we are self-seeking to that extent. Because eventually it leads us all in to doing wonderful things for those we love, adding dollops of positivity, something immensely lacking in this world. Hence, selfish or not, that is not to be taken lightly.

So, we have established selfish is good!

Now what are some of the things that we do to achieve that?

Or, let me rephrase what are some of the things that we do for the ones we love?

While you ponder on that let me speculate at my end. So, off the top of my head, gifts.

Yes, gifting something special to the those who hold the key to our happiness is an activity we all engage in, especially during auspicious occasions and festivals. And what do you know, according to my calendar it is that time of the year now.

Gifting, there is just something magical about doing that. Don’t you agree?

Be selfish, be happy. Gift something to the one you love!

Now, have you ever thought what it is about giving presents that actually makes it worth its while? I have and here’s what I think.

Gifting is good because...

  • That smile from the one you love reflects not only in your eyes but your soul too.
  • The very exercise of finding something special feels like an exciting treasure hunt.
  • It often burns a hole in your pocket but the childlike glee of the one you are doing it for makes up for it all the time.
  • It’s one of those times when giving actually becomes receiving.

I have always loved buying gifts for my family during festivals. It is a tradition that has been imbibed in most of us, I think.

I love buying gifts during festivals because...

  • It is a way to express my gratitude for having those I love in my life.
  • It is the purest form of joy I experience, year after year every year, ever since I started earning.
  • It is nothing but a gesture of showing I care and making sure they know I do.
  • Most important of all it makes me HAPPY!

With Diwali round the corner, I’m reminded of the warmth of the hugs and kisses I receive once I hand in the gifts. And I can’t tell you how wonderful even that thought is.

On to the gifts now..

There are just a handful of people I hold dear, who hold the key to my life. And I have meticulously planned for everything that I want to get them. But today I’ll tell you about what I have picked for my sister, the little munchkin who is often the sane voice in my huge impulsive head.

This time I’m going to give her a phone, a Zenfone actually, and that too by making use of the exciting offer from Asus, Har Pal Happiness.

What’s the offer?

The Har Pal Happiness Offer is Asus’s way of celebrating Diwali with customers. So, on buying an ASUS Zenfone, we get a chance to win Flipkart gift vouchers worth Rs.1,000 every hour. Now, isn’t that just lovely? But that’s not all. No, sir. One lucky customer also stands a chance to win gold vouchers worth Rs.25,000 every day! Now that’s a Diwali kind of offer, I must say. It’s all in here.

But why Asus Zenfone as the gift?

You see, my sister has had a long string of tumultuous relationships with her phones, they just never last long enough. Yes, she ends up needing a new phone every year. When that happens there is that one particular day when she stays completely out of touch, what with her ruining her phone and all. Now, I absolutely hate that. I just cannot tolerate not being able to contact her every second of every hour of every day, even at ungodly hours of the night. Don’t judge me, I’m simply the stalker elder sister here. It’s one of my duties and perfectly allowed!

So, this time I’m hoping her relationship with Asus lasts longer than her other phones. Well, of course there is a little bit of selfish motive in that too.

So, by availing the Asus #HarPalHappiness offer...

  • She and the Asus Zenfone last longer.
  • She stays happy that I gifted her a phone.
  • She stays within my stalking range. Oh! don’t ask why, I’ve to be able to know she is safe!
  • I may win the Rs. 1000 worth voucher and get myself books with that.
  • If I win the gold voucher, well, that would be something, wouldn’t it?
  • And the icing on the cake, I stay HAPPY!

Now, isn’t that a good plan?

So, you see be a little selfish, make someone 

happy to be happy!